Monday, December 27, 2010

new year.

lunch time at Plaza Damas :)

time ni macam pencarian gadis melayu lah konon.

athirah and pika

pika pika pikun

faezah, future director of Europe section


Salam and hello people,

It's been a month i'm working at Matrade and have less than 3 day before I'm leaving. tell you the truth, macam tak sangka dah sebulan kat sini. dulu masa mula2 masuk, semua tak bertegur, semua macam ishh sape ni, alah.. kena tegur dulu ke apa. hehe then when it come to stage yang mana kau pandang aku, aku pandang kau. balas-balas senyum, then start lah conversation.

"eh you dari mana, kampung kat mana, adik-beradik berapa, boyfriend berapa and etc kan"

lepas tu boleh ngam sebab athirah will going to London sama macam eja, so since kitaorang sama department, makan sama-sama, kutuk sama2 semua pun sama lah time kat matrade sebab yang ada kita bertiga before student from mascom masuk.

tu jelah cerita mula-mula start kenal. sebulan mmg sekejap. lusa dia dah nak pergi london. eja pergi on 7th, me on 5th,

unfortunately I've been told that my flight would be one day apart each other.. sebab aku punya dah di book awal. so tak boleh tukar.yes, really challenging for first timer and tak biasa naik flight ni.

macam-macam hal dan masalah yang kena fikir sebelum pergi sana. tempat tinggal, siapa nak pickup once we arrived, duit allowance tak masuk-masuk, which benda tu semua kena fikir hari-hari. masuk je office, jumpa Ilya (kawan aku yang ke paris jgk), mesti cakap pasal benda sama. and lucky lah Ilya ni nampaknya seorang yang strong and independent. because what, she going one day early than me, so she's gonna be there and stay at my boss's friend's house while waiting me. my flight would be arrived at 6a.m on the 6th january tu.

my preparation so far almost complete. semua macam dah ada. tak banyak sgt aku beli. semua kena cut. beli barang semua kena cari yang paling murah.

semalam shopping kat jusco sunway pyramid. Masyaallah ramai nya umat, mmg sale and dapat lah barang yang aku nak. and I think I over spending. haha.

hari ni dah masuk tahun baru. HAPPY NEW YEAR korang! what is your new resolution for new year? aku? hmm maybe lah. ini maybe je tau. nak kerja betul-betul and habis practical nak kerja betul-betul (bekerja keras) and balas jasa mak ayah, itu jelah setakat ni.


okay. sila benarkan aku nak membebel panjang.

apa yang jadi sepanjang 2010 ni?

aku awal tahun masih di uitm kedah. okay semua, belajar okay. perangai okay. hehe

bulan 6 aku transfer ke Uitm shah alam sebab ayah tak sihat, so senang lah nak melawat or apa2 kalau duduk dekat. (sebenarnya aku dah rasa lama sgt kat kedah. so nak try tempat belajar baru) hehe. mula2 masuk uitm shah alam, sesat! lepas tu macam nak mengamuk sebab banyak sgt kereta parking tepi-tepi jalan. kenapa aku tak dpat2 parking?? okay takpe, lama2 dah boleh adapt lah benda2 tu semua. aku dah boleh terima hakikat yang aku kena jalan kaki dari kolej ke padang kawad, lepas tu naik bus pergi fac. okay takpe, dah boleh terima lecturer tak sama mcm kedah.okay i'm not intend to compared them. tapi masa first masuk class aku tanya lecturer "would you give share your slide?" and jawapannya "no! my slide is mine"

haha gila sentap dah la budak baru dalam class tu, lepas tu kena sound bertepek. yelah dulu time kat kedah boleh je macam tu. mana nak tahu kat shah alam mcm ni. its like a huge
boundaries between student and lecturer over here. okay terima jelah, uitm shah alam besar, student ramai. mana larat lecturer nak layan semua.

takpe2 last2 aku faham, lecturer tu nak aku berdikari buat note sendiri. and lecturer tu sekarang is my advisor. so aku dah jumpa dia personally and aku rasa dia SANGAT okay. tak mcm yang orang cakap. cuma dia tegas. itu je. memang patutlah kena tegas, student tak makan saman, dia yang tegas pun student tak respect, hantar assigment lambat semua, lagi lah kalau lecturer yang lemah gemalai memang hancus class. satu class ada dalam 40 orang. mcm gila tak. memang pack. so susah nak dapatkan perhatian lecturer. kalau kat branch, lecturer siap boleh kenal sgt nama student, pergi lunch and karaoke lagi. haha

aku dapat ramai kawan baru, classmate aku. tapi the yang paling close is aliaa lah. lepas tu bertambah rapat la dengan mira sebab dah dekat. sebelum ni I kat kedah, dia kat shah alam. so bila dah ada kat sini, bertambah2 lah tanduk atas kepala. hehe

open bazaar. business goes well with the good management of Aliaa and all supporters thanks alot!


okay. lagi apa issue hangat 2010.

haha. pasal hati dan perasaan lah. suddenly it split into two. okay seriously I don't know why it can be happen and how get stated either?

yelah, sebab tu jangan main2 dengan hati. but tell you the truth, this is the best lesson for every single thing happen. lepas ni tau lah mcm mana nak handle this kind of situation. tapi sumpah it's not easy as you can easily said "forget about it forget forget"

tapi takpe, aku ada target sendiri. kalau nak cakap regret tu, memanglah sangat2. what past is past la. why you still wanna think about stupid thing was happened in the past. betul? tapi cuma regret sgt sebab kan benda-benda ni, result aku sem ni drop teruk. bila dapat tahu tu macam oh menyesal tak study. and takut uitm tarik duit aku ke paris. mmg mati lah.

itu je kot. ada masa 3 hari lagi. 3 hari lagi sebelum pergi. rasa macam tak cukup besar nak pergi sana sorang-sorang. okay. till the next post okay. love you!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

bounjourrr ;

NICE BUILDING STRUCTURE OF MUSEUM

PARIS TOWN

PARIS AT NIGHT

finally I decided not to apply VISA. for the sake of not being rejected again. and it take time basically 4 weeks to complete the VISA application, and me have like 1 week before I leave.haha

semakin hari semakin berdebar. aku menghitung hari sekarang. tuhan je tahu perasaan ni. kena tinggalkan ayah aku yang sekarang masih di hospital. faham tak perasaan tu?

and you. thanks for the space given. I'm gonna miss you cause you're the one I'm looking for when I'm in trouble. and now I'm trouble for you. sorry you. ;

but in the other way. alots of exciting inside. like want to screaming and say PARIS!HERE I COME:)

*Lepas tu kena sepak dengan orang paris.;

S Club 7- Never had a dream come true (with lyrics)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

mana allowance? he he he

hello, what's happening today and yesterday? at office? I haven't not much work to do since all the trade activities done because it end of year already, everything or this department(Europe site) only would be busy with promotion on the next year.

the confirmation of my flight ticket is on 5th at 3.00 a.m, haha.

and actually I am just done nothing due to preparation to go there. I've no money to be spending on the clothes, shoes and other thing that necessary to bring along within the winter season.

by the time , I still waiting allowance from university and PTPTN, therefore I can buy at least some suitable clothes according to weather at Paris now. I've to survive a lot at paris, especially on adaptive the weather, France's people, language barrier and also the food. oh, it's gonna kill me if there's no TOMYAM and BAKSO over there? I wish I could eat those food as much as I can before I'm leaving.

not only food, my family is the exact I'm gonna missing much!

I praise to Allah, to take care everyone that I love and me myself too.

seriously, time is just around the corner and just can't believe I'm gonna leaving Malaysia for about 4 month.


doakan saya selamat pergi dan balik ;

Friday, December 17, 2010

wheel chair?

I don't know whether is good or not to express my feeling this morning here.

sebenarnya aku sangat sedih. aku kerja seminggu, so aku tak tahu apa yang berlaku kat rumah, bila weekend aku balik, tgk ayah dah susah nak berjalan.

aku bawak ayah pergi hospital hari ni, dialysis treatment as usual, the saddest part is when he asked me for wheel chair, okay takpe, first time aku tolak wheel chair, rasa mcm awkward, so asyik nak terlanggar semua benda. aku tak tahu bila nak break, aku tak tahu nak kawal kelajuan, sebab sebelum ni aku bawak kereta roda 4, pagi ni aku bawak roda 2. so take time.

masuk dalam lift, aku pun kelam-kabut.aku tolak ayah aku laju2 sampai terlanggar dinding lift.

"adoiii" ayah aku mengerang,

time tu tuhan je tahu macam mana air mata aku nak mengalir sebab dah buat ayah aku sakit.

kaki ayah luka, and aku tak tahu sebab apa. and sakit tu rasa sampai ke pinggang, ayah kata dia tarik urat.

tapi ayah tak bagitahu doctor pun. I know he don't want to burden anybody around for the simple matter as what he perceive of. but aku rasa macam dah melarat since aku nampak ada luka pada tapak kaki ayah. tapi ayah tetap degil. so at last aku kena marah dengan sister, dia kata "you as a daughter should tell us what's going on with your father, don't try to hide anything from us cause it would make your father suffer in the end"

no I don't. the thing is now is my ayah. dia yang nak rahsiakan semua benda. aku tak nak dia marah aku sebab aku bocorkan rahsia dia pasal kaki dia luka tu.

and sister tu cakap lagi, sebab luka kecil, boleh sampai potong kaki.

aku tahan je air mata ni. ayah kat dalam, aku and sister kat luar. aku rasa macam ada satu beban yang berat pada bahu aku.

aku rasa semakin hari kesihatan ayah semakin teruk. I can't see any improvement. aku rasa nak menjerit kuat-kuat sekarang.

aku rasa nak pergi jauh-jauh sekarang

sebab aku tak tahan lagi nak tengok ayah sakit.

orang yang selama ni menanggung kau, sihat, boleh berjalan, berlari, hantar kau pergi sekolah, hantar pergi tuition, pakai kan kau stoking time darjah 1-4, bangun tengah-tengah malam buatkan air milo untuk kau, dukung kau bila kau tertidur dalam kereta nak bawak masuk dalam rumah, orang yang pernah suapkan kau nasi, orang yang pernah tepuk-tepuk kau bagi kau tidur, orang yang banyak berkorban untuk kau..

tapi hari ni, aku nampak dia hanya boleh duduk atas wheel chair, dengan muka yang tak bermaya, tak ada suara..

aku sedih, susah hati dan tak ada mood.

all I want now is, berilah kesihatannya pulih semula.

itu je.

and one more thing I want to state here.

I hate those who always think about my pocket. u see I can buy this and that doesn't mean my pocket always full of money. tell you the truth, sometimes I keep my five finger before I can really deliver it to YOU. and jangan jadi macam budak kecik la nak post kat fb yang bukan2. tengok diri sendiri. I'm sure she won't read this because she's too busy with stalking and talking about everybody and her surrounding without notice herself just being fool for what she did.

sorry friends, I'm glad that I'm no longer so called your friend anymore. and never be regret what I said to you last time cause you deserve for all those word. aku sekolah rendah? pemikiran sempit. yes aku admit.

so kau paling tinggi? blah buntal.

first time aku gaduh dengan orang DALAM HIDUP aku. I never speak loud to my friends. seriously this is my first time. I warn u, jangan ganggu hidup aku, sebab aku tak pernah ganggu hidup korang. you guys are nothing and not important for me at all. cuma rasa bengang sebab terpaksa pretending untuk masa yang agak lama sebelum meletup.

that's all. I gotta go, banyak benda nak fikir. aku harap aku mampu lalui semua benda ni sebab my life getting tough day by day, not like you. tahu bercakap, menjaja cerita orang. what kind of mouth of yours lah!

till the next post. aku doakan semua okay2 je, sebab aku rasa next post aku mungkin lambat lagi sebab aku tak tahu nak cerita apa pun . semua benda okay je. semua benda masih terkawal.

kawan-kawan kat Sarajevo, wish you guys enjoy life there. and for the rest.. appreciated something that still in front of you don't wait till it disappear cause you don't know how painful the feeling of losing.

daaa ;

Saturday, November 27, 2010

release

sorry, I promise it would be a short note.
it's about what I feel, what others feel.

after all those stupid thing happened in my life, I thought I can change it in order. I thought it easy to make thing back to the track.

but it's not. not that easy that what I perceive. because it involed many party in the same path. it's like watching series movie that would be end, but have conflict and corrupted in the middle. same goes to me now.

I thought everything is over. I want built something new and repair all mistake in the past. after all I found thing would never be the same.

I would not promise to be good as how I am before. I just want to be someone that you can refer to, someone that you can share everything with and be someone that would be there for you no matter what condition you are in.

that's all. I am sorry. again and again sorry. again and again mistake. am just a jerk. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

penipu jahanam pergi mati kau

Haha.
tajuk kau gila emosi. tak nak kalah tajuk drama tv mahupun novel kan.
apa cerita nya dengan tajuk di atas ni. macam serious je cik temah.. ye cik lijah.. (singsing lengan baju) nak start mengumpat. hehe

pernah kah kamu dapat msg seperti di bawah?

"ini ayah, tolong bagi credit mexis 30RM ke nombor baru ayah 0128011374. ayah lgi ada masalah kat balai polis. ta payah caal sekejap ayah call."

kalau pernah. korang haruslah berkata "pergi mampus kau binatang"

itu je balasan untuk penipu keparat macam tu.

sebab apa marah sangat ni kak lemah?

sebab nya, kak lemah terkena cik non oi.. (bengang)

ceritanya berbunyi, jiji call aku menangis tanya ayah ada kat mana? aku jawab lah, ayah baru je keluar rumah, tak sampai 5 mins,
dia bgtahu dia dapat msg seperti di atas, lepas tu dia terus suruh kawan dia topupkan nombor baru ayah aku tu (kononnya) rm30.
mestilah dia gelabah, dia tengah kerja buat burger kat burger king, tiba2 dapat msg mcm tu mesti kau akan gabra, siapa tak sayang ayah kan.

then aku pun cuak jugak, nak call ayah aku, tapi takut. aku pun turut sama menangis. alahai kenapa dengan ayah aku, kat balai polis pulak. apa kes? ayah aku terlanggar orang ke. maklumlah, ayah memang dah tak berapa nampak kalau drive. selalu terlanggar tembok sana sini, paling teruk ayah langgar kereta jiran aku. waaa kesiannya ayahh..

atas sebab tu aku dah fikir, takut ayah terlanggar orang. sedih tak ingat dunia. rasa macam apa nak jadi lah mcm ni.

lepas tu, umi tiba-tiba ajak aku ke tesco, nak cari barang. aku yang tengah sedih ni, pretend mcm nothing happen. muka biasa. aku kan pemenang pelakon terbaik. so buat mcm tak ada apa2.

dalam kereta ontheway ke tesco, umi nak msg ayah, nak bagitahu keluar rumah. aku mati-mati menghalang umi supaya jangan msg ayah sebab aku takut ayah ada di balai polis. tapi aku tak bagitahu umi, aku cuma cakap, tak payah la msg ayah, biar je, lagipun kita keluar kejap je kan. umi yang isteri mithali ni tak dengar cakap aku. dia pulak bersyarah pada aku, dia kata, berdosa keluar rumah tanpa pengetahuan suami.

umi pun msg ayah.

dan ayah pun reply okay..
aku pun terus msg jiji suruh dia call ayah aku sebab ayah dag reply msg umi tadi.

jiji call ayah dan tanya ayah aku kat mana and mcm2 soalan yang buatkan ayah aku sendiri confuse.

lepas jiji dah terangkan semua, jiji kena marah dengan ayah. tau kenapa?

first sebab ayah kata "takkan lah ayah type MAXIS tu mexis?, number ke NOMBOR (Lahanat apa kau?) , call ke CAAL (memang cibai). tak sekolah sangat ke ayah aku nak eja mcm tu, tak macam si penipu bangang tu, mesti sekolah tak habis.

yang kedua, sah-sah la ayah aku guna line, kenapa nak suruh topup pulak kan. betul tak.

yang ketiga. takkan jiji tak boleh detect cara penggunaan bahasa msg tadi, dengan msg ayah aku yang selalu??


okay lah, aku letak tempat ni positive side. first, sekali dah kena, lepas ni kau jangan percaya2 dah, apa2 conform dengan ayah aku dulu. second, alhamdulillah dia suruh topup 30, aku rasa kalau dia suruh topup 50, mesti jiji dah minta tlg kawan dia topupkan 50. Kalah gaji sehari jiji kerja part time kat burger king. gaji sehari kerja pun tak sampai RM 50.

siapa tak sayang ayah? korang pun mesti tak boleh nak berfikir dengan jelas kalau benda ni jadi pada kau orang. tambah2 msg tu kata AYAH. lain lah kalau korang panggil ayah korang abah ke, baba ke, papa ke, daddy ke, memang pelik lah kalau korang dapat msg mcm tu kan.

aku tak salahkan jiji lah. aku rasa dia terlampau risau tak boleh nak fikir. so. si penipu. tahniah lah! anda menang rm30. kesian.


kesian weh. takkan pakcik din ni eja MEXIS. itu line jepun kot. Malaysia ada Maxis je.


kalau budak baju oren ni, aku percaya la jugak. dia boleh jadi eja Maxis ke Maxas ke. kan?

Monday, November 22, 2010

my week-ends


hye hye. I'm here, at UMSC as usual, waiting till 12.00 p.m. it's been 4 hour to complete the dialysis therapy, but it's okay. I'm fine with it. I enjoyed belonging him ( my ayah ) to hospital 3 times a week. because I don't know when I can help him out after this, plus if my visa approved, I can go to Paris at the end of dec. so, this is the only opportunity I have before my practical oversea being started.

for the today post, practical is not the topic that keen me of to share, it just MUKADDIMAH, as I don't know what to write at the first place. blank to do anything. it just that, I bring laptop here so that I'm not too bored waiting for 4 hour.

first of all, I would apologize to everyone that I hurt, I break my promise to them. some of u maybe feel it. like what I see, I realize, it's look like am change. am not so sure which part. but in real, I changed. honestly saying, I'm not intend to do so. like for example, promise people to do this and that for them, promise to help them to go here and there, but I end up with do nothing for them. I'm so sorry. I would do if I could. Seriously if I could, I would help as possible as I can.

time is so fast goes fly by. I even don't have a proper plan to do something to be better. times always ruined my plan..I always late. is it all about blame time to short or you yourself doesn't learned how to be well prepared? and in the end, I break my plan with some of friends. like what happen last week. am planning to bring her (eja)to survey practical places and area and to others (eyno), I promise to hang out at friday. and how could I forget that I should be at alya's home at friday to prepare stuff to sell at bazaar. I promise her to tagging the price and packing the stuff properly, so that it wouldn't waste the space of the bag that we would bring later. am so sorry.

me even couldn't remember that tomorrow is friday( last week). I thought tomorrow is thurday. how ridiculous I am to forget all those important thing which am supposed to remember it well. yes, break your promises is the worst thing you shouldn't do. but I did it frequently. not one, it twice and repeat again. so don't promise if you're not conform that you can fulfill it.


so, what's happening during my weekends? here are some photo that could story you about my weekends all about. tell you, it been tiring.. but fun and enjoy. tak ada lah kaya mana, but worth it if I could manage it better. unfortunately it wasn't. hahaha.





second day. senyum la jugak walaupun mengantuk gila baaab. buktinya tengok muka alya jelah.


first day just like first love is coming to give him helps. thank you la shaipullahh

it was second day (sunday) aku tengah layan brother tu. gf dia beli baju aku 6 helai. awesomeness. senyum sampai telinga :)


just to show you our picture with yuna (bukan uyun) and hannah. they came to support us. cehh. padahal tak pun. frankly, hannah is really beautiful as beauty she is at the picture.

yasmin yasmin. new friend. after this we might see her for the next bazaar.

see!! pulah senyum. the real, without any editing, pulah just being himself when there's girl in front of.

we sell accessories instead of clothes and shoes.






ni first day, masa ni tak crowd lagi, and we were earlier than other seller, time tgh set up tempat. muka pun sardin sebab letih angkat barang.


that's all for this time. maybe ptg ni, esok lusa, tulat, tulut or tulot update lagi lah. see you till next post. :)

AISHITERU ( Menunggu )-by ZIVILIA BAND




When your too in love to let it go… but if you never try then you’ll never know just who you were :I

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

uneasiness


Apa lagi? ada dalam hati ni. aku benci. sumpah aku tak minta rasa ni. It might be punishment against my action. I promise I would never ever let this feeling fall me down again. I hate it. hate it as much as I'm gonna hate you.

I know, it not supposed to be inside. I should get rid off earlier. but as others said. it's a game. you still wanna try it up. still wanna chase it though.

but why? why me? and because of it, I betray him, who love me much. everything is just a fake.

here, I learned new thing, new type of people, and it's me my self again have to deeply looking it at. probably, the big mistakes seems to be hard to recover. but I wish it would be soon. hopefully not too soon cause I couldn't hold it on. the strength is not there, top of wishlist is to make you happy. you and you happy. everyone deserve to be happy including me.


there's always going to be those 4 different guys in your life

Guy #1: your best friend.
He’s there for you, always. He would never let you down, cares about you, comforts you when you’re down, protects you when you’re put down. He would never betray you. Keep him.

Guy #2: the player.
You can’t help but to fall for him. He seems to do everything right, so you think you love him. In the end, you find out he played you, lied to you, used you, and probably didn’t really even care about you. Forget him.

Guy #3: the enemy.
The one who would do ANYTHING just to bring you down. He’ll humiliate you, judge you, embarrass you, anything he can do just to make you feel smaller than what you are. Ignore him.

Guy #4: your soul mate.
Often turns out to be you’re best friend. He tells you how it is, even if you don’t want to hear the truth. He’ll hold you, kiss you, protect you, and love you no matter what. You can talk to him about anything. He’ll see you at your worst and still think you’re beautiful. He’s there for you no matter what. Love him.


YOU, no words can tells how bad I am, hurting you much. break the promise often,
and never realize that you'll always be there for me. I'm just blind. one day, would be my day. to go through the pain. I understand hardest thing in your life is to chasing my smile back to you. To switch the feeling back. to make everything back to normal. It was my fault. sorry I just can't. thanks for giving me a chance to change.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

bosnia. belgium and mana lagiii?

hey.. sorry it's been a month I'm leaving this blog. why? emm some maybe know the reason, some might assume I'm not updated people. as to let you know, have a blog doesn't mean you have to update everyday and telling people every single things happen in your life. for me, I write something that I think good to share and listen.

okay2 back to the motive am writing. guess what?
yes,, actually aku dah tahu result practical aku since last month. cuma malas nak tulis and time tu tengah final exam. so semangat nak bersembang panjang is not there. campur dengan masalah jiwa lagi. okay stop talking about hati and jiwa. gonna talk to it later or not talking about it at all.

tadi siang. lepaas hantar ayah ke PPUM. aku ada meeting dengan semua student yang bakal practical ke oversea. meeting held at 9.00 a.m and I reached there at 7.30. yelah lepas hantar ayah ke PJ. Then tak tahu nak pergi mana terus ke UITM. tidur dalam kereta. alarm bunyi 8.40 terus pergi meeting room.

what's up at meeting room? actually I am honored be one of them. although I'm new here and I think I was wrong. I put low expectation towards the practical management team. but it's actually me myself have wrong direction at the first place. they are great master and helpful team. seriously. tabikkkk springgg.. okay okay. it's been past. move what's up today.

first of all. congratulation to 3 of my friends. amalina padang, nadiah atiqah and che nurul jannah. 2 of them going to BOSNIA. and mellow going to BELGIUM. woooww. sounds good and excitement feeling for them. same goes to others.

me.. insyallah going to FRANCE. thanks to Matrade for the opportunity given. aku tak sangka setahap ni aku diberi tuah oleh yang maha esa. semua ni untuk parents aku. memang bukan untuk aku. I'm just focal point to reach their dreams. yes to see their first daughter fly to oversea. memang bukan study or apa. this is one of opportunity for me cause I know I may not be there with my own money. itu yang penting. haha. since Uitm ni berbesar hati nak sponsor. ALHAMDULILLAH..

mereka2 yang nak fly 26th ni boleh la ready. aku lambat lagi. because MATRADE required me to do practical training at KL a month before I further my internship at their regional branch later. thank you so much.

and stage yang paling berdebar is VISA. aku takut tak lepas macam masa aku apply ke US dulu. ohh kalau tak lepas. mean I've to be here, just here. takpe. rezeki is everywhere. Allah kalau nak bagi, sekelip mata dia bagi. tapi kalau bukan hak kita. sejauh mana kita try. memang tak akan dapat. so be redha.

for the time being itu sahaja. sememangnya banyak sangat untuk di share. life getting tough day to day. should enhance my strengthen in order to be adaptive person. sebab aku ni memang lambat. dalam apa jua. nampak je cekal. but reality nya I'm not.

okay okay. gotta go. nak tolong umi potong2 sayur. esok kan raya haji..
selamat hari raya aidiladha :)

Friday, October 15, 2010

syukur


bergambar time breakfast.


menunggu untuk di interview. semua prepare tanya soalan. apakah vision and mission matrade? haha. aku yang tak study ni dengar jelah.


group dari Uitm shah alam

meeting room. semua berdebar tunggu pengumuman result. lihatlah gelang itu, semangat aku.






tunggu bas Uitm kedah. selamat jalan friends. ni lah sir yang banyak tolong saya. terima kasih sir.. :)


Assalamualaikum, aku tau blog ni dah macam sampah, tapi takpe, as long as I've blog, this place for me to realize what I feel.

hari-hari yang lepas sangat mencabar. makan tak cukup, tidur tak cukup. dalam 1 hari boleh ada 2 test, presentation and hantar 2 report. memang lah menggila kan. semua benda serabut. tapi mengenangkan class tinggal beberapa hari sahaja nak habis, aku cuba bertenang. dan sekarang class dah habis. no more student's life after this. sedih lol.. kalau ada pun mesti tak sama mcm sekarang. life as a student ni actually enjoy. pejam celik, dah habis belajar rupanya aku. and lepas practical kerja. which the next step further. alhamdulillah kerja semua selesai. cuma ada lagi 3 report je nak hantar next week. maksudnya aku tak bercuti lagi la sekarang.

disebalik kebusy-an kami semua siapkan assignment, (perlu ke mulakan ayat dengan disebalik sekarang?) okay sambung.. hmm my visa application is another issue yang menggilakan aku. we tend to wait and keep follow up with the company. eja said that dont give up until they say "NO". And alhamdulillah after wait about 1 month, they admit that american palm oil cannot provide the document as required of U.S embassy.

why I said alhamdulillah? I tired to wait. that the reason. apart from that, eja ask me to email the another regional branch of mpoc which I prefer Egypt. eja was handle IDD Program at uitm shah alam so she ask me to do so. I email the contact person over there. I draft what is our purpose to go they and etc. I mean like so panjang lebar aku taip. the answer is "regret to say we not provide internship program, sorry"

time tu mcm rasa nak mengeluh panjang-panjang. aku dah dapat placement kat prudential petaling jaya. and miera ask me to hold to send the acceptance letter to HEP. aku cakap hantar jelah, dah malas nak fikir pasal internship luar. serious, biarlah aku berkhidmat di tempat sendiri. betul.. aku fed up.

tapi, ada 1 lagi opportunity. yang mana aku memang sikit pun tak harap kan. aku letih dah.
15 october which is yesterday, there are 14 student shortlisted to interview at matrade. the best thing is my name are includes. but this is under uitm kedah application. aku syukur sangat En. Ruzaimy letak nama aku. tapi paling tak best bila aku kelam kabut, baju pergi interview tak ada. semua tak ada. interview hari jumaat, kerja aku pun tak siap lagi. tapi takpe, aku just pergi dengan harapan ini pengalaman.

I thought there were only uitm kedah student going to interview but it actually other batch from UiTM shah alam student from other course (tak pyh state lacos apa issue sensitive). dah macam rancangan apprentice dah. semua smart2. aku? selekeh hampeh. pinjam seluar jiji. besar gila. longgar dan nak jatuh. ya rabbi sumpah aku teruk sangat dressup.

there are 2 stage of interview. aku group number 3. 10 orang akan masuk sekali dalam 1st stage tu. yang mana combine 2 student from kedah and 5 from shah alam. before interview session start, semua candidate di bawa melawat dalam matrade. I was like "besar gila tempat ni, betul ke aku nak kerja kat sini?" berkata dalam hati, sambil tengok budak2 dari uitm shah alam yang lain yang sangat berpontensi besar nak dapat opportunity ke luar negara ni.

okay, interview session dah nak start. aku ni kan bangang. lupa resume. resume ada kat rumah. aku memang bangang. ko ingat ko nak interview kerja kedai jual perabot ke? aku dengan muka tak malu pinjam PC office sebab nak print resume aku yang ada dalam email aku. dan aku actually telah buat slack kat situ.
"SIAPA YANG TAK BAWAK RESUME TADI" Tiba-tiba aku kena sound.
emmm "saya.." muka bodoh je.
"mcm mana nak kerja resume pun tak bawak, kata nak pergi oversea, benda-benda penting mcm ni pun boleh lupa macam mana?" tmbah beliau. tak kenal, staff matrade lah.

takpe, aku senyum je. I admit that was my mistake and accept if it will be the reason im not selected to be sending to matrade branch.

first stage interview. sumpah berdebar. jantung mcm nak tercabut. interviewer is the CEO matrade. sangat strict, cakap direct. ada 3 orang interviewer. aku turn yang second last bercakap daripada 10 orang. stage ni, we're asked to introduce ourself to convince them why we are entitle to be part of matrade's practical training at oversea?

aku? haha. merapu rapan. menggoreng lah. tapi bila fikir balik sumpah lawak aku cakap dalam bahasa arab which is my third language that I've been taking last time during my diploma. aku rasa mesti orang arab kalau dengar baling kasut kat aku. :)

okay lepas 1st stage lega sangat. sangat-sangat.

ada second stage pulak. second stage ni, we have to debate. amboi. hebat je, tak pernah-pernah masuk debate time2 ni nak kena debate. yes, everything is english.

okay okay. lepas 1st group keluar bilik tu, aku pun tanya lah apa yang korang debate kan. diaorang kata kena pilih tajuk sendiri dan kupas lah issue tu, its between us and uitm shah alam student. and the bad thing is where one of student dihalau keluar sebab overconfident nak bercakap sorang je. takut weh..

okay, group 3 boleh masuk.
"nurafiqah siapa??"
"me.."
"you may start. choose the issue!"
what the... I was like mati-mati. but suddenly the topic appear.
how to promote and sell malaysia product to United state? my side said that we have difficulty to enter US market because of discrimination. they discriminate muslim country since incident september11.

uitm shah alam student argue and said that US are very friendly and there are malay restaurant open kat sana sebab dia pernah stay sana dulu.

emm the conversation going to be interested and am so exciting sebab aku ada idea because of my visa problem. and important of marketing subject that I learned. it help me so much.

lepas je interview tu semua diarah ke bilik meeting. berdebar kot. nak tunggu result. there are about 10-15 kekosongan untuk practical training student yang akan dihantar ke matrade branch.

disebab kan masa tak mengizinkan, they cannot decide which country we're going to place. they'll inform us next week.


semua dah keluar...

sir pandang aku and senyum. "afiqa awak dapat. you're the top scorer"
sumpah nangis terus. time tu teringat muka umi dengan ayah. this is really not for me. Am lucky because of you guys. berbaur-baur je perasaan. terharu. ini jelah yang aku ada nak bagi pada mereka.
Apart from that, sir Rizaimy told that CEO of Matrade are impressed with me and he remember my name at the first when sir ask him who is selected. I dont know where it come from. mungkin doa orang sekeliling saya.

placement will be inform later. tapi bila fikir-fikir balik. everything happen for a reason. kalau aku tak apply intership ke US, aku tak akan tahu betapa susahnya nak masuk sana. and aku tak akan ada idea untuk debate semalam. Allah tu adil. apa-apa pun, semua candidate did the good job, semua bagus dan berpotensi.



talking about love...
my friends kat kedah tegur aku semalam kenapa aku kurus? yeke.. aku tak pasti. cuma aku tak lalu makan sekarang. rasa sedih bila tgh makan. sebab teringatkan seseorang yang suka makan:(
aku tahu everybody see me as a jerk. I dont mind. I know what I want. I've big responsibility toward my family, let me fulfill it first. saya harap ada yang sudi faham.it just that sometimes I miss him. but I tried deny it. aku tak nak fikir lagi untuk masa sekarang. I wish for one day. sorry everyone.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

just a short notes

sorry for being missing a while.

am sorry too for being unfair for everybody

am so sorry I've no longer cope this.

am sorry again for make thing harder

am a truly sorry because I am not perfect.

I just hope one day everything could be appear as how I dream to be

I know Allah know me better

and I believe I can go through and take this challenging like what others can passed it successfully

first, I damn tired waiting for internship status. the company let us wait without stated the status of our waiting. is it still on or we just can pull off our hope. at least give feedback so that we're not highly depending on your company and we have to do it early.

second, I am happy I already get placement practical here, I mean local company which I really interested to working on. but as I mentioned, I still hope answer from A-P-O-C. the document is important for us to passed the interview session at U.S embassy. we are not intend to burden your company.

third, I realize when it going to be far, the feeling of misses somebody is high. believe me. as this is the good way, am choosing to be a far. yes. I miss you

fourth, BANDUNG is the first place where holiday in my life. I never went there before and am excited to be there again. maybe next time am spending to BALI. insyaallah. I love to travel then.

fifth, I have about 3 weeks before I say good bye to student life. seriously am going to miss this moment apart. you learn how to struggle here and make new friend when you're at the new place. me experience it when am transfer here. it amaze me when am accepted all among classmate thought am new.

enough. byebye :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

stronger dan stranger

Assalamualaikum.

dimana kekuatan itu? aku muda lagi. belum puas gelak ketawa enjoy suka suki.
mungkin ada hikmah aku terima ini awal daripada waktu sepatutnya.
dimana kekuatan itu?

kadang-kadang aku rasa aku berjalan atas lidi yang tak mampu untuk aku lalu. tapi aku terpaksa lalu sebab aku hanya ada satu jalan. jalan itu sahaja untuk aku.

dimana kekuatan itu?
kadang-kadang aku rasa macam nak extend semester supaya aku boleh beri tumpuan pada ayah yang sakit. hantar ke hospital, treatment dan etc. dan juga berkerja untuk cari duit supaya ayah tak susah-susah fikir berapa besar belanja rawatan ayah dan ubat. sebab ayah dah biasa dengan private hospital, so he refuse to stay at government. yelah orang sakit mesti nak selesa.

for the time being, aku rasa commitment aku sgt tinggi terhadap ayah. sebab aku pegang semua duit, kad and medical report dia. history penyakit dia, dan segala-galanya. aku yang sign untuk semua surat dan payment. pernah one time dalam dua bulan lepas time ayah critical doc minta aku sign untuk ayah masuk bilik operation sebab time tu umi lambat and doc can't wait.

aku kadang-kadang jadi buntu bila ayah selalu kata dia sakit itu dan ini. sakit situ dan sini. niat aku bukan nak mengeluh, sumpah aku tak rasa susah tanggung semua benda ni, cuma aku tak sanggup tengok dia sakit. and selalu terfikir apa kesudahan untuk kesakitan itu? itu paling takut aku nak fikir.

dimana aku nak cari kekuatan itu?
kalau aku sendiri sebenarnya kerap menangis dalam toilet bila teman ayah ke hospital. menangis sebelum tidur mengenang apa akan jadi tentang hidup aku dan kehidupan aku. dan paling layan bila menangis bila tengah tulis blog.

yelah, aku perempuan dan manusia biasa yang ada air mata untuk aku keluarkan bila aku rasa sedih. aku bukan ommas yang ada air mata untuk jadi taik mataaaa. (sekarang mood meluat ommas suka muntah, rasa nk buang itu ommas)

di mana agaknya kekuatan aku?
mungkin bila selalu orang kata, ada orang lain yang lebih susah dan dasyat masalah mereka. dan aku selalu cakap itu pada ayah. "sabarlah ayah, kita mampu lagi, ramai lagi orang kat luar yang sakit lagi teruk"
ayah pun diam je. sebab kalau kau duduk hospital tu. ramai pesakit yang kalau kau tengok dorang kan, kau rasa sedih dan simpati. ada seorang lelaki india ni, baru lepas potong kedua-dua belah kaki. sangat sadis kan?

soon or later, masalah akan sentiasa ada. cuma cara kita nak hadapinya. aku tak pernah menangis depan ayah. aku akan gelak dan senyum dan akan pretend mcm aku tabah. bagi nasihat. itu aku menang.

dalam minggu ni, dua kali aku teman ayah makan, dia teringin nak makan seafood dan steamboat. time umi dan adik2 pergi beraya, aku bawak ayah makan. seronok tengok ayah aku makan habiss. cuma rasa tak seronok bila tengok tangan dia terketar-ketar, jalan nak terjatuh, macam masa aku kecik-kecik dulu.

itu je luahan, sorry for those who annoyed read my story, my intensity is to write what I feel so that I can reread back. its like my journey. aku tak larat nak ingatkan dan pesan, sesiapa yang tak suka please go away. tak larat nak pikir stranger.

Friday, September 10, 2010

hari raya yang kelam..

salam,

first of all selamat hari raya to all my friends yang aku kenali or mahupun tak mengenali
nak mohon ampun dan maaf sekiranya pernah terkasar bahasa yang aku sedari mahupun tanpa aku sedari.

so far raya tahun ni, memang tidak langsung menarik dan mood raya itu sangat la out of track.

sebab?

1. ayah tak sihat. so hati pun tak senang, kurang berjalan2 pun. malam ni tidur di rumah. tak macam previous raya mesti akan duduk kat kg paling sekejap pun 3 hari.

2. baju raya cam haram. terima kasih makcik tukang jahit, kerana menjadikan baju raya saya tahun ini seperti maternity wear. saya boleh guna bila pregnant akan datang. selebar mungkin makcik ukur ikut ukuran pinggang siapa agaknya makcik. tangan pula sangat singkat seperti kurung kedah. baju umi pula lengan sebelah panjang sebelah pendek, baju adik saya aqila pula langsung tak siap. sesungguhnya makcik sangat creative, kalau rasa tempahan banyak sgt, jgn terima. ini adalah tahun last kami mendapatkan khidmat makcik.

3. shopping raya memang tak ada lah tahun ni. tahun ni tahun paw adik-adik. asal nampak sesuatu yang berkenan terus pandang qila. hehe. pinjam duit. dalam acc ada rm7 je. serious.

4. raya rumah sedara mara macam tak ada mood kenapa ntah? sebab dah besar, mood raya kurang, tambahan pula menggunakan baju kurung lama yang biasaku pakai ke class. sekali lagi terima kasih makcik tukang jahit.

itu jelah kot. nanti kalau banyak sangat merungut pun tak baik. tapi pagi raya tahun ni overall memang suramm. mungkin tahun depan lebih hebat.

hari-hari yang lepas sebelum raya sangat sibuk.

ulang alik hantar ayah ke hospital, berbuka puasa juga di hospital,

bawak umi pergi beli barang di klang yang sangat jam nya nauzubillah.

siapkan kuih raya berbalang-balang.

sampaikan rasa macam ohhh flat dh terus terlentang kat dapur.

apa-apa pun, saya tak sabar beraya dengan kawan-kawan,

tiba-tiba teringat zaman beraya kat alor star dulu. rindunya pada alor star.

tahun lepas, 3 hari sebelum raya aku masih ada di rumah pulah, tolong mak pulah buang hampas kat daun ketupat. aku ingat lagi moment berbuka puasa sama kat sana.

serious aku rindu kedah sebenarnya. classmate, lecturer dan environment sana. yang paling rindu makanan yang murah-murah.

emm tak semua benda kita akan laluinya setiap masa dan sepanjang umur kita. sebab bila dah tak ada baru kita akan rasa rindu dan ingin benda tu ulang kembali.

tiba-tiba pulak rindu beraya zaman kecik-kecik. ayah sihat. semua ceria. naik kereta nyanyi lagu balik kampung. bonet kereta penuh. besh je.

tak macam malam ni.

duduk rumah, laayan fb. baca blog orang. dengar bunyi mercun dum dammm sana sini. nadia pun dah bising asyik cakap boring boring raya duduk rumah jeee..

nak upload gambar, tapi nanti dulu lah. mood baring. esok lusa update lagi. sebab sure esok lusa banyak masa terlebih lagi.sekian.

kpada kawan-kawan, jemput datang ke rumah yeee... aku free je cuti ni. and tahun ni raya lebih panjang sebab ada di tanah air sendiri. hehe. poyo.

Monday, August 30, 2010

l-f-e

salam,

actually sebab aku tak balik cuti merdeka sehari ni sebab nak study lah katanya kan. bangun tidur semangat berkobar gila buku dah terletak atas meja. tapi apakan daya kuasa laptop aku menarik bagaikan magnet yang kuat. sejak semalam aku terbuka satu blog wanita berjaya ni. yelah call her successwoman lah since she manage to get income 40k monthly. ko rasa berjaya tak?

eversince I read her blog. sampai di kala ni aku tak boleh stop. tangan still pegang pen. ada buku juga terbuka. tapi mata dan minda aku terus nak click older post beliau.

bila tengok orang berjaya di usia muda ni, siapa tak mahu. aku bukannya nak hidup dalam kaya raya. cuma bila nak beli apa-apa tu tak ada lah terbantut and berfikir 10 kali. dan tahun akan datangnya baru kau dapat merasa beli. hehe. aku tak lah seteruk macam tu. income yang diberi oleh umi ayah still cukup lagi. I mean cukup-cukup lah untuk dating, and spending makan minum minyak kereta, bill broadband and celcom. kira lumayan lah.

tapi semenjak ayah sakit, ada sedikit perubahan lah. bukan sedikit lah. agak banyak jugak. yes, aku masih ditahap bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada. cuma kalau sebelum-sebelum ni kau mmg dapat lebih, tiba-tiba kau dapat kurang, mesti kau ada sedikit terasa kan.

aku faham, ramai lagi diluar sana and some of my friend teruk poket dorang. aku masih okay lagi. aku bukan nak mengeluh. cuma aku tak sabar nak build my own career, get my own money, pay my own car and have my own properties with my own effort to get all that thing.

mungkin bukan masanya lagi. tahun depan maybe. tapi kau bayangkan bila dah susah, kau terpaksa dengar masalah yang parent kau hadapi. sana sini terpaksa dijual sebab nak menampung itu dan ini. perbelanjaan semakin bertambah sebab ayah dah sakit dan tak bekerja. aku tension.

bila balik, aku akan dengar benda yang sama. aku faham ia sekadar luahan hati. tapi aku tak sabar nak kerja dan bantu mereka. banyak kali dah aku ulang benda ni.. aku tak sabar dah nak keluar dari zone cukup makan ni.

contohnya.
kalau nak order makan kat kedai, aku tak akan tengok menu dulu. aku tengok harga dulu. sebab aku pasal makan ni tak kisah sgt. asal aku kenyang. so akan ku pilih yang murah sebab duit dalam wallet cukup lah nak bayar minyak, tol,, tengok movie and mcm macam lagi aktiviti yang membazirkan.

kalau tgh drive tiba-tiba signal minyak kereta menyala-nyala. dalam fikiran alahai menyala plak kau. baru ingat nak saving tak nak isi minyak. kau ingat pakai NGV ke, kadang-kadang terpaksa budget untuk benda lain sebab nak isi minyak. nasib kereta aku tak kuat minyak. tapi kalau dah jalan merata tu kuat jugak la telan minyak.

kalau tengah belek-belek baju yang cantik-cantik kat sungai wang tu, mesti tgk tag harga first. alahai mahal pulak. bukan mahal mana pun. rm49 je. tapi sebab financial condition yang kurang membenarkan, so letak jelah balik baju tu. dengan harapan akan ada sale nanti. tapi bila dah sale, baju tu dah tak ada pulak. kau bukan shopping kat butik gucci ke apa, sungai wang je pun. tapi still kena fikir kan duit.

kalau kau nak tengok movie, mesti mengelak dari tengok kat paviliaon. sebab mahal. mahal bukan sampai berganda mana pun, cuma kadang-kadang sampai rm12 je. harga tempat lain rm7. tapi still consider mahal.

kalau nak keluar pergi mana-mana kan, mesti plan perjalanan and jalan mana nak lalu. mesti pilih jalan yang tak ada tol. tol bukan mahal pun. rm1 je pun. tapi masih fikir. kalau aku lalu tol, mesti aku kena pecahkan RM 10 aku ni. ish tak boleh tak boleh.

kalau nak dating sekarang. masing-masing akan bawak transport masing-masing. meet somewhere and I'll park my car, naik motor pulah. saving. (ish tiba2 cam dejavu je aku tgh taip benda2 ni semua)


memang la aku ada saving yang boleh dikatakan banyak. itu semua hasil duit dulu-dulu time family masih senang. tapi makin hari duit makin kurang. hati pun semakin risau. apa lagi harta yang aku ada kalau bukan saving tu?

hidup kat shah alam dengan merbok berbeza.

serious tak sabar nak bekerja keras. nak selesa. nak sambung master. hmm kena buat wishlist ni.

Apalah kehidupan tanpa cabaran. semua ni sementara till oneday you'll miss this moment. sabar

Sunday, August 29, 2010

mood okay.

Salam,

Hari-hari nak bercakap benda yang sama. progress of internship. I went to M-P-O-C to meet En.Wira pertaining visa matter. and his manager served me as en. wira not in. am glad I meet friendly people would manage the document needed. Now I know why is it so difficult to apply visa to stated. tak payah cerita la. nanti jadi issue pulak.

put at this way, if we fail to get the visa, there might be any optional country that we may attach as palm oil council offices is worldwide. that's all. until the last stage semua cara pun tak jadi. MPOC is the places where my internship will be ongoing.

minggu ni agak busy dengan test and presentation.

I currently selling chocolate cookies and necklace. so don't be hesitate to visit my room at melati 3A-o3-33. hehe. while stock last. :)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

internship lagiiii

Salam,

today is sunday. sunday is the day usually people get a rest and relaks in far from work tension and schedule of classes. but as I have a big thing that not settle yet. I can't enjoy my holiday. my mind keep thought of V-I-S-A. I just worried if thing not happen as an ordering planning. you know how am hope for this program? mestilah berharap sebab kita usaha.

its likes journal writing of internship which others may not doing so. for me, as either am success or fail in what we have been planned, I may reread again and see how struggle me, eja and some of lecturer in order to make sure our wish comes true.

This Thursday may be interview at M-P-O-C since executive director of A-P-O-C recommend us to seek an advice or particular needed over there. it easier because M-P-O-C is located locally which at Kelana Jaya and have direct connected to A-P-O-C.

Serious I've much nervous and worried due to this matter.

it not hard, we call it a little complicated because we dealing with somebody well position in that company.

what can I say. test, Raya holiday and final exam are just close to us. thought gonna complicated for Faezah to arrived here. and if we fail once again...hmmmm. serious am heartless. should find a local company for internship.

Friday, August 27, 2010

faezah

Hye. am writing at 2.00 a.m
why am writing this late night? I wake up suddenly after receiving call from faezah. hehe. should call her faezah because I got two bestfriend name eja. I better mention faezah here so that people wouldn't get confuse.

why she call me?
she told me that she just called A-P-O-C. since timing different from Malaysia to US, she make phone call at late night. at US now is around 11.00 a.m. Agaknya la. aku pun tak tahu sgt. seriously at first her voice like crying but she actually excited when saying A-P-O-C just reply our email and send it to sir ruzaimy. perhaps kedah start cuti on friday, sir maybe not check his email. and she added, A-P-O-C people so friendly and respond to her nicely. but she just nervous during conversation with sir An-to-ny, person who incharge in training department. frankly speaking am like. ohhh terharunya you did it not only for you, but it actually for me also kan. so you better ask me to do other thing. I mean give me direction to complete thing regarding our internship otherwise just kill me because I though am so passive in handling this matter. you're super intelligent till I can believe you call A-P-O-C Company by yourself and you make them surprise when you said you're from Malaysia. kalau I pun I terkejut. and it cost you rm2 je untuk call ke US? Emm tak ada masalah la kita nak call ke Malaysia nanti. ceh berangan.
Faezah Samsudin. thanks. you make me back on my track after falling down when we've been suspended during last interview before. I hope for the second time, no more problem. kesian you kena ulang alik. flight ticket price absolutely cost you alot because it double compare dengan bus. then you kena belanja adik-adik I lagi. kena buli dengan dorang pulak. aduh syiannnn you.

jumpa nanti when you coming for d next interview :)




me and faezah LAST YEAR. muka afiqa... bulan puasa tak baik annoying-annoying. uyun dan kumpulan uyun sila jauhi kalau tak berminat nak baca. amaran suam. (susah kalau kau tahu aku ada stranger. tapi kau masih baik hati biarkan mereka baca juga. biarlah mereka. tambah pahala aku sikit) sorry picture curi dari album you eja.

Monday, August 23, 2010

cat oh cat. tajuk utama

hye guys.

as some friends know, am looking kitten for my bf. Eversince I have cat, he also wanna cat. as a girlfriend, probably you might looking wht your bf desired as well as you can. but previously, I didn't know that price of cat is expensive its like you can pay for roadtax and car insurance and deposit motorcycle you know. so costly. now I knew, it was. untill I saw there are the cheapest cat is rm50. kucing yang macam meow meow kat restaurant time korang tgh makan tu kan.. better lepas ni if you meet this kind of cat, take it and pose at mudah. com. hahhaahah letak la berapa harga kau suka. apalah manusia ni, aku pun kau nak jual (kata si kucing)


am searching cat with black n white colour and as a experience of cat owner, alya was help to search at mudah.com. haha. it was funny when I realize that cat actually having different faces and type as human also. I never know it or even don't want to know about it before. eversince I have ommas and two cute kitten, I highly concern on what type of good food for cat?. is it okay we get them shower every week or else, how to clean your cat TAIK. itu semua aku dah buat OKAY.

okay back to the purpose am writing here, to spread the information, not so info lah, it was highlight news. who have extra cute little kitten could you guys donate to us. haha. I mean free. :) we promise to look after them as loving as who the owner (pulah) kihkih

I just pity of pulah because he feel lonely when at home and need something that he at least can play and share with. I mean benda bergerak dan bernyawa. by having a cat, for me, its a good process to start be responsible in a way to provide food, clean cat's we-we and better handling cat places. ceceh lepas ni papa cat la pulah. haha

tapi kan kan..don't surprise me for given this cat
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This is Horrible but still can apply as to work out purpose. 10 hari angkat ni confirm muscle naik.

kecik-kecik

Assalamualaikum. hari ni puasa macam mana? aku okay jelah. cuma kadang-kadang bila teringat zaman kanak-kanak actually lagi seronok and terasa nikmat berpuasa walaupun time tu tak ada cuti khas.

yelah, time kecik-kecik la kita akan rambang mata bila pergi bazar. semua benda nak beli. tapi at last tak makan pun

time kecik-kecik la kita akan minum air banyak2 sampai kembung perut. lepas berbuka nak jalan pun susah. bila dah besar dah pandai manage. kurang air.. takut perut buncit. konon.

time kecik-kecik la aku akan melembik terbaring je depan tv time pukul 7. tak sabar tunggu bila lah nak azan. kadang-kadang setengah jam before azan dan duduk depan meja. ada air tebu yang sejuk segelas. hmmm rasa nak hirup je.

time kecik-kecik la mak akan suruh hantar kuih kat rumah jiran. si emak sangat percaya pada anak nya walhal si anak akan merasa kuih yang dihantar. alamatnya, kurang sebiji kuih setiap kali hantar.

time kecik-kecik seronok sangat sebab time makan, gaduh-gaduh dengan adik. yang kakak beli semua kakak punya,adik tak bolehhhh..

time kecik-kecik dulu, aku ada 2 orang adik yang masih kecik. umi akan suruh aku tolong buaikan adik sebab umi nak solat terawih. agak-agak macam malas gila aku tak buai pun. aku biar je. bila dah menangis, umi pun berhenti la solat. kesian umi, dapat aku yang kurang tanggungjawab. tapi tu time umur 6 tahun kot. malasssss sangat dengan adik kecik-kecik. meluatt.. heheh

time kecik-kecik kalau umi masak berbuka suka sangat nak kacau-kacau. kalau umi goreng apa-apa dalam kuali, mesti sibuk nak terbalik kan konon takut hangus. time tu pendek tak sampai. so aku akan tarik kerusi dekat dengan kuali. dan berdiri atas kerusi tu pegang sudip, cekak pinggang. ala-ala makcik bedah.

time kecik-kecik kalau dah masuk minggu ke 3 puasa tu dah sibuk nak minta ayah cari kan bunga api. lepas tu si ayah yang sangat memahami akan belikan bunga api banyak gilaa. lepas tu bawak balik kampung mesti berlagak dengan saudara mara. dorang akan kejar-kejar kitaorang (anak cik din) sebab kitaorang lah supplier bunga api, mercun terbesar time tu. haha. gila berlagak.

time kecik-kecik dulu, kalau bulan ramadhan kan, mesti tak sabar nak raya, hari-hari try baju raya dengan kasut raya menari nari depan cermin. hehe. kalau ingt balik macammm sedihnya. zaman keriangan tanpa masalah sudahhh berlalu.

time kecik-kecik dulu kan, paling susah nak bangun sahur. kalau bangun pun kadang-kadang makan nasi tak buka mata. ada one time tidur je depan nasi tu. lepas tu kena mengamuk dengan umi sebab kalau tak sahur mesti aku akan lapar, kalau dah lapar mesti nak berbuka. puasa separuh hari.

time kecik-kecik dulu, kalau dengar lagu raya syokkk gila..macam esok nak raya.

itu semua time kecik-kecik dulu. confirm anda ada cerita yang sama. sebab time kita kecik-kecik la semua nya indah dan excited. puasa penuh dapat duit raya lebih, semua tu kebiasaan bagi kita.

tapi bila teringatkan yang sudah tiada mesti sedih. takpe, ada satu alam lain di mana kita akan jumpa juga.

atuk~

Saturday, August 21, 2010

interview




okay okay.
marilah kita bercerita pasal interview aku di U-S e-m-b-a-s-s-y. (hhee saje je protect from google search, kang bila orang nak search us embassy habis keluar blog aku) yang mana gerak seawal 6.40 pagi dari rumah bersama eja.sebab takut jalan jam dan sampai lambat. interview aku pukul 9.30 pagi. hmm jalan tetap jam gila-gila. 1st time aku keluar rumah pagi ke KL. aku dapat merasakan betapa bosannya jalan jam.

okay sampai sana. mmg nervous. ada certain barang yang tak boleh bawak masuk. aku kna body checkup and muka2 security kat sana semua ganas-ganas macam nak tembak aku. tengok aku mcm aku ni terrorist je.

lepas ambik number aku pun pun duduk menanti number aku dipanggil. sebenarnya interview ni ada 3 stage. 1st and 2nd stage tu lepas la. macam biasa soalan2 basic je dia tanya which aku mmg dah prepare tak gagap punya. haha. 3rd stage tu yang pressure sebab interviewer tu serious dan cakap agak laju dengan slang US. okay aku kan dlm category english ni moderate je, tak delah fluent gila. cakap pun kena pk pk dulu.haha. fine. okay then aku dah dengar rmai orang kena interview sebelum aku. ramai yang tak lepas. means ada slip or certain thing might not meet the US regulation or requirement. kira kalau yang muka masam dapat kertas kuning tu tak lepas la. kena datang next time untuk second interview. yang senyum2 macam nak lompat tu kira lepas la. huhu. jelouss..

okay first dia tanya what purpose am going to united state. aku pun jawablah am doing internship within 6 month.
which company you doing internship. aku pun jawab american palm oil at W-a-s-h-i-n-g-t-o-n DC.
dia pun pandang aku sambil pegang form yang aku dah isi through online kan.
you did the wrong category ladies.

aku cam ayo ayoooo. hmm he ask me to call my friend who belonging to me to US. aku pun panggil eja. dia terang kan la what we need to do. okay fine. aku dah start rasa benda ni leceh. sebab kitaorang kena minta tlg A-P-O-C issue VISA pada kitaorang.

then am start thinking. how good if the A-P-O-C manager is my relative. hahaa. but bila aku cakap macam tu eja terus kata. "you.. mana ada benda senang dalam dunia ni. kalau semua nak senang kita pun tak ada usahaaa"

aku rasa, kalau eja tak ada mmg aku dah give up dah. yelah, almost 1 and half year kot process ni. mula-mula kena cari company. lepaas tu kena buat kertas kerja budget. letter of indemnity. emm lepas tu kena contact uitm buat surat issue permission for us to doing internship outside. and smpai 1 tahap aku rasa. emm tak larat dah.

tapi eja selalu bagi semangat. takpe takpe, kita try dulu. kita tak try kita tak tahu dapat ke tak. okay sekarang aku dah start berdebar. yelah aku dah spend hampir RM700 for visa fees and passport. tak campur minyak tol and kereta rosak sebab kekeringan air time ke KL. okay semua tu dugaan.

aku start risau aku tak dapat sebab aku takut A-P-O-C delay our requirement regarding the letter that US embassy need us to provide. before this A-P-O-C dah send confirmation letter dah. sekarang kitaorang minta letter lain pulak. aku takut sangat membebankan sir salleh which my trainer at A-P-O-C.

sekarang ni aku percaya macam ni jelah.
-kalau memang rezeki kami pergi, dapat lah pergi. budget uitm dah lulus. amount dah tahu dah berapa seorang daapat. ticket flight uitm dah tlg book dah. cuma visa je. emm.. ni semua semangat kental eja ajak aku pergi sana sini dlam uitm shah alam cari siapa yang in charge bahagian unit amanah, bendahari, accountant. eja-eja. dapat la merasa naik canselery kat atas tu. itupun eja ajak supaya pembiayaan kita di selesaikan hari tu jugak.

-and kalau tak dapat pergi, mesti ada reason behind that. kita tak tahu. mampu merancang. tuhan tentukan segalanya. tapi serious rasa berdebar nak tunggu benda ni habis. kalau dapat alhamdulillah, kalau tak dapat aku terimaaa juga.

we have ample time to complete the requirement. the thing is, the letter is under APOC processes. if they really wanna help us, they will settle it as quick as they can. same as how hope we are here waiting this and that. the confirmation, the respond from APOC before.

betul lah kata ramai orang. it is really strict to enter united stated compare to france ke, UK ke, lecturer pun ramai kata macam tu. tapi.. as eja said, "kita try je dulu".

tungggu jelah letter tu sampai. sangat berharap dan berdebar. what gonna happen next. am I really entitle to practical at oversea or not? no words.

till the next interview. daaaa ~