Thursday, May 27, 2010
change
I called it destiny. the stated life story early. I used to let it be. although hurting and painful deeply. I've made decision not because im selfish. doing this because I love people around. since we getting older, I think we have to correct what have been wrong from past phase . nothing is impossible to change, either you want it or you wont. definitely people will change for the people they love. I cant see that. whatever it is, thanks. I prayed one day you could be mine and forever. because you are the best in my life.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
angan angan
dah dua hari duduk sorang2. apa yang aku buat? watching adamaya dan nurkasih secara maraton tanpa iklan yang telah kawan aku download.
lepas dah habis dua dua cerita, aku tengok laptop, apa yang perlu di delete and yang perlu di simpan dalam folder and what not.
tertengok pulak picture-picture dua tahun lepas, sepanjang aku mengharungi tahun2 sebelum ni, and aku sure I am the only yang simpan semua picture kitaorang. so it was remind me what was happen the past. dah dua tahun berlalu. kejap sangat. aku tahu, topic ni aku dah pernah bincangkan, tapi tetap nak cakap, masa sungguh cepat berlalu.
semua dah berubah. semua dah matang. bertukar ganti pasangan, walaupun bukan kehendak kita. tapi jangan menyesal, apa yang datang dan terjadi kita tempuh je. dah setelah dua tahun ni, pemikiran kita juga telah berubah, bukan nak berjoli or bercinta di kebun bunga lagi. tapi lebih kepada alam serius dan lebih terjamin dalam sesuatu perhubungan. kawan-kawan pun dah ramai kahwin. kahwin maksudnya dah jumpa seseorang yang betul2 kita nak hidup dengan dia sampai bila-bila insyaallah. dan alhamdulillah mereka telah dipertemukan. dan ada juga segelintir kawan-kawan yang hujan ditengah hari. faham-faham lah. bila tengok orang lain, kita sendiri jadi takut. mintak sangat dijauhkan. aku kalau boleh....
tapi tak juga. Bila fikir balik, aku ada impian, kalau boleh aku nak ada master sebelum aku ubah status kat facebook tu daripada in relationship to Married or engaged . memang dulu aku tak berapa pandai dan malas, tapi bila Allah beri aku rezeki dan petunjuk yang mengatakan aku ni sebenarnya tak adalah lemah sangat, aku bertambah semangat untuk mencapai lebih.
umur 22 ni memang umur berangan terlebih kot because it is the middle age between remaja dan dewasa. for me, 22 is turning to woman, not girl anymore. kalau beli magazine tu, aku dah tak pegang seventeen, dah tukar perempuan or wanita punya majalah. tua sangat ke? tapi itu lah aku sekarang. bila beli baju, aku dah tak pegang t-shirt, aku prefer blouse yang bunga kecik-kecik. bila tengok tv, rancangan favorite aku haruslah wanita hari ini dan Oprah. emm memang berubah.
yelah, dah tua. lutut pun dah sakit dan sengal sengal.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
things harder than before
dear, sometimes I feel time too late to reach the target. I wish to finish my studies quickly so that I could do everything my by own money afterward. Indeed, I am one who could share the same shoes towards you, although you're love to compare different way between us, I knew how bad you feel without things that people needed to further life. for the sake of you and them, I thought its good if you could start go through your way and put something less important aside.
life will slightly differ when you turn to 22 compared to 2 years old young kid. some parent tend to put that age as enough matured to let the children build life without pertaining to them anymore, but don't you really care how hard to stand without both of you. Life hard at 22, everything you need to fulfill by your own, anything had been done and what past is your responsibility. I am having difficulty to explain this, the thing is not mine, things is basically close about others. by putting some comment thought it would lead you be a good, though they won't around doesn't mean they didn't care. they might be own reason why the thing being such. sabar ye. :)
life will slightly differ when you turn to 22 compared to 2 years old young kid. some parent tend to put that age as enough matured to let the children build life without pertaining to them anymore, but don't you really care how hard to stand without both of you. Life hard at 22, everything you need to fulfill by your own, anything had been done and what past is your responsibility. I am having difficulty to explain this, the thing is not mine, things is basically close about others. by putting some comment thought it would lead you be a good, though they won't around doesn't mean they didn't care. they might be own reason why the thing being such. sabar ye. :)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
membebel makcik tua2 yang sakit lutut
hari ni aku terpanggil nak ke hospital memandangkan pagi tadi class sejuk dan lutut aku berdenyut2. sebabnya aku terlupa pakai knee guard. bukan lupa actually dah terlambat nak ke class, so I felt it not necessary for me to wearing the S size of knee guard, surely susah gila macam pakai cos set.(sorry tak tau eja. cos set=baju ketat for slim the body shape) otherwise I'll be mad by my madam sebab lambat datang class. so tajuk utama lutut aku berdenyut sebab tak pakai guard dan aku ke hospital itu sahaja.
ever since aku bukan je orang mutlak sungai petani, aku memang tak tau where I've to refer my case, pulah's auntie as nurse at hospital sungai petani and she suggested me to go checkup at hospital as a pesakit luar dulu and bila case tu dah sampai pada dia senang dia nak uruskan sebab dia memang bahagian orthopedic. dan pada hari ini malangnya aku gagal meng-ecall mak tam. asyik operator je yg jawab. So I decided to go just by my own and I went to hospital seorang diri. mula-mula aku pergi hospital SAL(hospital baru). biasalah bila dah sorang2 ni rasa macam semua benda kena cari sorang. parking pun pusing-pusing sebab full je, lepas dah happy dapat parking, aku pun turunlah dari kereta sebagai pesakit lutut ke kaunter pesakit luar dan kecemasan bersalin.
I told someone over there, I came for check my knee and unfortunately he said I was come at wrong hospital. I supposedly should go through to hospital lama. Hospital lama kat mana pulak abang? saya bukan orang SP. Abang tu pun bgtau la, dekat dengan penjara.
okay2 mulakan misi pencarian hospital lama. dan cari punya cari tiba2 alah!!! terlepas, It just on my left. tapi aku dah tak boleh nak corner sebab motor and kereta banyak. tak sempat nak signal. aku yang buta jalan kat sini pun rajinlah pusing dekat tengah2 bandar sungai petani ni.
akhirnya aku masuk jugak hospital tu. yes, I was alone, that was my first time come here so I again was lost in the middle way tp dalam tu jugak, serious pihak hospital kena upgrade error and signboard sume dalam tu, pusing2 cari parking last2 depan mata aku, bangunan psikiatri
dan tak ada jalan dah. aku stop for a second. sebak je rasa. tak tau kenapa. tapi aku faham dan try to cool down myself because I knew am having symptom of menstruation. dan baru faham perasaan tu. and aku try lagi cari parking. dah jumpa.
pergi kaunter and dapat number. tunggu selama lebih kurang setengah jam. dan, number naik je terus masuk bilik. the doctor is woman. aku pun cerita lah. saya ni pernah jatuh dulu, lepas tu sekarang baru rasa sakit. bila sejuk je saya sakit lutut, bila drive pun sakit. doktor tu pandang aku tak berkedip.
lepas tu angguk angguk. tulis-tulis.
lepas tu bagi kertas.
lepas tu aku pulak pandang dia tak berkedip.
lepas tu tanya, itu je ke doktor
"itu je, buat masa ni kita tak sediakan x-tray since U can still walk and look nothing serious"
"okay2" try to senyum.
mcm mana u tau my knee is not serious, u even didn't touch and check me doctor. its okay. I fine with it as you said, I still can walking and smiling. kalau aku dah mengerang-ngerang adoi adoi tolong tolong kaki ku sakitnya..TIME TU aku sendiri pun takkan jumpa you lagi.
aku dapat ubat pil oren sepapan. dan ubat sapu, mcm minyak angin tu. aku tengok makcik yang jalan terhincut-hincut sebelah aku pun dapat ubat sama mcm aku. sedih wey.
rasa mcm emm muda lagi dah sakit.
Tapi tak pe, I wouldn't complain more because its only took 1 dollar spending on it and not expecting more from the G hospital because there are many patient they need to check and taking care dan aku rasa macam bersalah sgt ambil ubat tu kalau aku tak makan.
honestly saying that this is my second time take medication from G hospital. not to show Im too rich or affordable to get treatment from private, mmg umi dengan ayah treat mcm tu. first time masa demam kat hostel and padeng bawak aku pergi hospital G sebab takut kena denggi atau yang lain2. itupun pulah yang paksa dan macam yang dijangka, aku cuma dapat panadol macam unit kesihatan Uitm bagi je. tp tak pe, aku dah jalan kan tanggungjawab pergi hospital, mcm yang pulah arahkan.
and for the second time, aku dah tau jugak, cuma try la kot2 dia nak check aku serious. tapi tak pe, aku faham. ini semua memenuhi kehendak kekasih dan harapan aku semoga dapat ringankan beban ayah tak perlu lah bawak aku pergi specialist tulang. dan sebenarnya situasi kat hospital tu byk bagi aku kesedaran tentang kepentingan merancang keluarga dan perbelanjaan kita.
first, I saw one pregnant woman with two son (sorang maybe 2 tahun, sorang 4 tahun) and her husband. anak mereka demam. mereka nampak susah. tapi mereka nampak muda. around 25 tahun I guess. my parents didn't bring me to hospital when I was kid. syukur aku selalu pergi klinik berbayar.
second, nampak pakcik ni tua sangat jalan bertongkat ketar2 sorang2. tak kan tak ada insurance pakcik pergi lah klinik, hospital bagi ubat biasa2 je.kesian pakcik.
itu lah yang aku rasa, so start from now we should prepare for the future. most priority is saving. and second important is insurance. sebenarnya yang penting sekarang get the highest education in order to sell and compete ourselve in the market. dan bila dah dapat kerja, kena plan saving. saving first. lepas tu kena ada security plan, ambik insurance, in case anything happen towards us, its not gonna burden up your family or else relative ke rite? so let start thinking of. Im glad, growing up without financial problem or difficulty to survive all these thing. I had go through my life easy maybe because my parent both are working.
cuma sekarang aku fikir, bila aku dah start kerja, mampu ke nak tanggung semua sendiri. rumah? kereta? spending on pampers, susu, groceries, bill, bayar loan ptptn.. wuhu takutlah. takkan nak tadah tangan lagi time tu.
put the marriage topic left behind, avoid talking to makes family meantime. you should be well planning, married as the easy word as can say but to go through with the life after might be suffer if you wont achieve pocket, knowledge and emotional stability. then, beware of it. melainkan kalau duit dah ada dlm 5 angka tu senyum la lebar and say to me "will you marry me" (sorry jiwang)
kesimpulan
kaki sakit - pergi hospital - sedih sebab teringat dulu kecik2 ayah bawak pergi klinik - di hospital nmpak keluarga yang agak susah -pengajaran -kena well planning kalau nk berkeluarga - end
ever since aku bukan je orang mutlak sungai petani, aku memang tak tau where I've to refer my case, pulah's auntie as nurse at hospital sungai petani and she suggested me to go checkup at hospital as a pesakit luar dulu and bila case tu dah sampai pada dia senang dia nak uruskan sebab dia memang bahagian orthopedic. dan pada hari ini malangnya aku gagal meng-ecall mak tam. asyik operator je yg jawab. So I decided to go just by my own and I went to hospital seorang diri. mula-mula aku pergi hospital SAL(hospital baru). biasalah bila dah sorang2 ni rasa macam semua benda kena cari sorang. parking pun pusing-pusing sebab full je, lepas dah happy dapat parking, aku pun turunlah dari kereta sebagai pesakit lutut ke kaunter pesakit luar dan kecemasan bersalin.
I told someone over there, I came for check my knee and unfortunately he said I was come at wrong hospital. I supposedly should go through to hospital lama. Hospital lama kat mana pulak abang? saya bukan orang SP. Abang tu pun bgtau la, dekat dengan penjara.
okay2 mulakan misi pencarian hospital lama. dan cari punya cari tiba2 alah!!! terlepas, It just on my left. tapi aku dah tak boleh nak corner sebab motor and kereta banyak. tak sempat nak signal. aku yang buta jalan kat sini pun rajinlah pusing dekat tengah2 bandar sungai petani ni.
akhirnya aku masuk jugak hospital tu. yes, I was alone, that was my first time come here so I again was lost in the middle way tp dalam tu jugak, serious pihak hospital kena upgrade error and signboard sume dalam tu, pusing2 cari parking last2 depan mata aku, bangunan psikiatri
dan tak ada jalan dah. aku stop for a second. sebak je rasa. tak tau kenapa. tapi aku faham dan try to cool down myself because I knew am having symptom of menstruation. dan baru faham perasaan tu. and aku try lagi cari parking. dah jumpa.
pergi kaunter and dapat number. tunggu selama lebih kurang setengah jam. dan, number naik je terus masuk bilik. the doctor is woman. aku pun cerita lah. saya ni pernah jatuh dulu, lepas tu sekarang baru rasa sakit. bila sejuk je saya sakit lutut, bila drive pun sakit. doktor tu pandang aku tak berkedip.
lepas tu angguk angguk. tulis-tulis.
lepas tu bagi kertas.
lepas tu tanya, itu je ke doktor
"itu je, buat masa ni kita tak sediakan x-tray since U can still walk and look nothing serious"
"okay2" try to senyum.
mcm mana u tau my knee is not serious, u even didn't touch and check me doctor. its okay. I fine with it as you said, I still can walking and smiling. kalau aku dah mengerang-ngerang adoi adoi tolong tolong kaki ku sakitnya..TIME TU aku sendiri pun takkan jumpa you lagi.
aku dapat ubat pil oren sepapan. dan ubat sapu, mcm minyak angin tu. aku tengok makcik yang jalan terhincut-hincut sebelah aku pun dapat ubat sama mcm aku. sedih wey.
rasa mcm emm muda lagi dah sakit.
Tapi tak pe, I wouldn't complain more because its only took 1 dollar spending on it and not expecting more from the G hospital because there are many patient they need to check and taking care dan aku rasa macam bersalah sgt ambil ubat tu kalau aku tak makan.
honestly saying that this is my second time take medication from G hospital. not to show Im too rich or affordable to get treatment from private, mmg umi dengan ayah treat mcm tu. first time masa demam kat hostel and padeng bawak aku pergi hospital G sebab takut kena denggi atau yang lain2. itupun pulah yang paksa dan macam yang dijangka, aku cuma dapat panadol macam unit kesihatan Uitm bagi je. tp tak pe, aku dah jalan kan tanggungjawab pergi hospital, mcm yang pulah arahkan.
and for the second time, aku dah tau jugak, cuma try la kot2 dia nak check aku serious. tapi tak pe, aku faham. ini semua memenuhi kehendak kekasih dan harapan aku semoga dapat ringankan beban ayah tak perlu lah bawak aku pergi specialist tulang. dan sebenarnya situasi kat hospital tu byk bagi aku kesedaran tentang kepentingan merancang keluarga dan perbelanjaan kita.
first, I saw one pregnant woman with two son (sorang maybe 2 tahun, sorang 4 tahun) and her husband. anak mereka demam. mereka nampak susah. tapi mereka nampak muda. around 25 tahun I guess. my parents didn't bring me to hospital when I was kid. syukur aku selalu pergi klinik berbayar.
second, nampak pakcik ni tua sangat jalan bertongkat ketar2 sorang2. tak kan tak ada insurance pakcik pergi lah klinik, hospital bagi ubat biasa2 je.kesian pakcik.
itu lah yang aku rasa, so start from now we should prepare for the future. most priority is saving. and second important is insurance. sebenarnya yang penting sekarang get the highest education in order to sell and compete ourselve in the market. dan bila dah dapat kerja, kena plan saving. saving first. lepas tu kena ada security plan, ambik insurance, in case anything happen towards us, its not gonna burden up your family or else relative ke rite? so let start thinking of. Im glad, growing up without financial problem or difficulty to survive all these thing. I had go through my life easy maybe because my parent both are working.
cuma sekarang aku fikir, bila aku dah start kerja, mampu ke nak tanggung semua sendiri. rumah? kereta? spending on pampers, susu, groceries, bill, bayar loan ptptn.. wuhu takutlah. takkan nak tadah tangan lagi time tu.
put the marriage topic left behind, avoid talking to makes family meantime. you should be well planning, married as the easy word as can say but to go through with the life after might be suffer if you wont achieve pocket, knowledge and emotional stability. then, beware of it. melainkan kalau duit dah ada dlm 5 angka tu senyum la lebar and say to me "will you marry me" (sorry jiwang)
kesimpulan
kaki sakit - pergi hospital - sedih sebab teringat dulu kecik2 ayah bawak pergi klinik - di hospital nmpak keluarga yang agak susah -pengajaran -kena well planning kalau nk berkeluarga - end
Sunday, May 16, 2010
short course
first class untuk short course ni everyone kindda a little bit silent and slow during the lecture including me. might be holiday mood tu belum habis lagi. yelah memang dah set supposedly cuti sebulan kan. tapi takpelah, at least next semester the subject taken will be reduce to 5 instead of 7 subject. so its gonna be light rather than heavy sebab next sem mungkin aku akan ke shah alam, emm I wont to think of it. biarlah dulu. semak sikit sekarang ni. and one more thing is, short course is really fast lane punya stage cara pun kena ubah, tak boleh nak loy loy and buat rendang je. anything should be one time and once assignment has been given, we've to doing the research quickly as possible.
I didn't really mind about the class and no problem with it, but the matter coming up after finish the class. maybe only for the first day, I felt bored plus got nothing to do, maklumlah, cuti-cuti sem ni kan, nak cari makan pun susah. banyak kedai rajin sangat tutup. balik rumah sunyi. housemate pun tinggal 2 orang. serious sunyi.
another part is, actually I dont think I've to put and share this here, but, I just want it to be learner to you. as a human and friends, what do you expect from your friend. don't expect everyone perfect and could fulfill your desired and please don't be ever blame people yang tak sama interest dengan kita. everyone have different interest, opinion and the way we think and solve the problem pun tak sama macam yang orang fikir kan. so let them be in their way, and kita keep with mine. itu je cara nak keep the friendship ni in a good. tak payah nak gaduh-gaduh or masam muka or lagi teruk kau terus tak bercakap.
as we getting adult , please throw childish attitude because budak-budak cannot think rationally and kita yang dah dewasa ni, kena belajar fikir dulu sebelum bercakap and fikir sebelum bertindak. what you had been done is actually is still acceptable just wondering why it is suddenly. sometimes I want to ask I'd know the answer of why. tapi bila fikir2 balik biarlah because aku rasa aku faham perasaan dia and why these thing happen. biasalah tak semua orang boleh terima perangai and cara orang lain. cuma aku try adapt and pretend. susah sebenarnya nak bertindak. aku bukan jenis yang begitu. tindakan aku adalah diam.
when you start an action, people around start to asking. not asking you. but we. we've to faced the question that we ourself didn't understand apa benda yang terjadi. cuma mcm aku cakap tadi, maybe kita mempunyai perbezaan dari banyak aspek and you choose to withdrawal from the problem. its good. and I do respect you. you will satisfied, tu yang penting. dah nak habis semester ni. everything is in your hands. people just can see, they cnnot feel it. betul tak.
apa2 pun, all the best. cuma paling tak best when we're no longer can talking or maybe its hard for you to start conversation with us. IDK serious. cuma aku boleh buat2 mcm tak ada apa2 berlaku lah.
actually, I try to avoid talking about practical and internship program at abroad in the class and also in a public, sebabnya, hanya yang tau akan tau and yang tak tahu better tak sepatutnya tau. I don't want people ckp yang bukan2. just stop it. some people tend to looking us like boast. we are not. sedih pun ada jugak, it might be one of the reason. this is degree and if you'd to do further you must do on your own. bukan mcm sekolah menengah nak apply UPU and ada ramai org boleh guide. aku sendiri tak tahu benda ni akan berjalan according to plan or not, I can hope and a bit worried if the thing does not follow as a plan. so better senyap dulu and follow the progress. sebab tu bila orang tanya je, aku tak berani nak explain lebih lebih. serious takut.bukan tak excited cuma takut. and I prayed you'll get the best based on wht you've dreaming, you are highly potential and ada credibility. try lagi. we never break you fall down. sokong lagi ada. tapi tu lah, manusia kan, ada hati dan perasaan yang sometimes can be a big big and can turn to small and getting smallest because of the small issue. apa2 pun doakan yang terbaik je untuk semua.
I didn't really mind about the class and no problem with it, but the matter coming up after finish the class. maybe only for the first day, I felt bored plus got nothing to do, maklumlah, cuti-cuti sem ni kan, nak cari makan pun susah. banyak kedai rajin sangat tutup. balik rumah sunyi. housemate pun tinggal 2 orang. serious sunyi.
another part is, actually I dont think I've to put and share this here, but, I just want it to be learner to you. as a human and friends, what do you expect from your friend. don't expect everyone perfect and could fulfill your desired and please don't be ever blame people yang tak sama interest dengan kita. everyone have different interest, opinion and the way we think and solve the problem pun tak sama macam yang orang fikir kan. so let them be in their way, and kita keep with mine. itu je cara nak keep the friendship ni in a good. tak payah nak gaduh-gaduh or masam muka or lagi teruk kau terus tak bercakap.
as we getting adult , please throw childish attitude because budak-budak cannot think rationally and kita yang dah dewasa ni, kena belajar fikir dulu sebelum bercakap and fikir sebelum bertindak. what you had been done is actually is still acceptable just wondering why it is suddenly. sometimes I want to ask I'd know the answer of why. tapi bila fikir2 balik biarlah because aku rasa aku faham perasaan dia and why these thing happen. biasalah tak semua orang boleh terima perangai and cara orang lain. cuma aku try adapt and pretend. susah sebenarnya nak bertindak. aku bukan jenis yang begitu. tindakan aku adalah diam.
when you start an action, people around start to asking. not asking you. but we. we've to faced the question that we ourself didn't understand apa benda yang terjadi. cuma mcm aku cakap tadi, maybe kita mempunyai perbezaan dari banyak aspek and you choose to withdrawal from the problem. its good. and I do respect you. you will satisfied, tu yang penting. dah nak habis semester ni. everything is in your hands. people just can see, they cnnot feel it. betul tak.
apa2 pun, all the best. cuma paling tak best when we're no longer can talking or maybe its hard for you to start conversation with us. IDK serious. cuma aku boleh buat2 mcm tak ada apa2 berlaku lah.
actually, I try to avoid talking about practical and internship program at abroad in the class and also in a public, sebabnya, hanya yang tau akan tau and yang tak tahu better tak sepatutnya tau. I don't want people ckp yang bukan2. just stop it. some people tend to looking us like boast. we are not. sedih pun ada jugak, it might be one of the reason. this is degree and if you'd to do further you must do on your own. bukan mcm sekolah menengah nak apply UPU and ada ramai org boleh guide. aku sendiri tak tahu benda ni akan berjalan according to plan or not, I can hope and a bit worried if the thing does not follow as a plan. so better senyap dulu and follow the progress. sebab tu bila orang tanya je, aku tak berani nak explain lebih lebih. serious takut.bukan tak excited cuma takut. and I prayed you'll get the best based on wht you've dreaming, you are highly potential and ada credibility. try lagi. we never break you fall down. sokong lagi ada. tapi tu lah, manusia kan, ada hati dan perasaan yang sometimes can be a big big and can turn to small and getting smallest because of the small issue. apa2 pun doakan yang terbaik je untuk semua.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
bus rosak again.
I don't know what updated issue should I share to people out of there, it is just I would to fill the blank of this area. and blank in my mind also. I arrived to sungai petani by bus and suddenly in a half way, bus airconditioning was broke down at sungai perak, wordless to explain how hot and bad all passenger had go through until reach at the butterworth and change to other bus. it was awful and unlucky day because I still suffer to stand at the bus despite we change the bus at butterworth. the bus actually from jalan duta to alor star, so, it just have some sit left after drop passenger at there and we need to be a lodger to go to sungai petani, can you imagine everyone got their sit except me. and I was stand alone and act like oh its okay, dont look at me like I am so poor, Im okay people, and ayah called tanya dah sampai belum, aku jwab belum, baru sampai butterworth, dan ayah pun tanya kenapa lambat sangat, "BUS ROSAK" I replied. "kakak tak mandi kot pagi tadi"
emm no joke could create laughing at that moment. I was wet and headache.
esok dah start class. everyone must on their bed in the morning and Im at the classroom. I know there are many advantage of doing short course, im not going to say short course is bored and pointless, 1 week holiday is a short duration that I couldn't spend enough time with family and my home sweet home. these entire life giving me up so much pleasant moment though I've to faced umi lecture, I didn't care. maacam orang selalu cakap. you only appreciate things that had been gone. kalau ada depan mata surely mcam nampak tak nampak je. macam maya. dengan adam. dah tak ada baru nak nangis. macam aku, dah jauh baru nak terkenang. oh S
emm no joke could create laughing at that moment. I was wet and headache.
esok dah start class. everyone must on their bed in the morning and Im at the classroom. I know there are many advantage of doing short course, im not going to say short course is bored and pointless, 1 week holiday is a short duration that I couldn't spend enough time with family and my home sweet home. these entire life giving me up so much pleasant moment though I've to faced umi lecture, I didn't care. maacam orang selalu cakap. you only appreciate things that had been gone. kalau ada depan mata surely mcam nampak tak nampak je. macam maya. dengan adam. dah tak ada baru nak nangis. macam aku, dah jauh baru nak terkenang. oh S
Saturday, May 8, 2010
knee anak gajah jadian
bukan kaki anak gajah, mahupun beruang kutub, kaki seorang gadis 22 tahun, berat 54 kg.
yes kakiku..
berlaku 5 bulan yang lepas sadis tak?
punca? jatuh toilet. selipar licin sebab haus, beli selipar seringgit. so makcik makcik la you
Idk where to start or even should I share my feeling. I am too worry due to my knee complication. it's been pain since last weeks, I feel it after study at library, might be too cold in the library leads to effect my knee.
but seriously, it was hurting when I was going back to klang from sungai petani last nite. I've to seat at the bus within 5 hours arrived to klang. hardest to explain the feeling, simple saying it was terrible.
I thought that, kalaulah aku pergi massage dari awal lepas jatuh dulu or get some treatment mesti benda ni tak jadi. bila dah sakit baru nak mengadu2 to people around, I've seek advice from pulah since he had an experience toward retak2, bedah ni and sama dengannya. and I also ask about this to my friends, ebear yang baru je lepas operation knee. and the symptom is same like what I've experience now. I felt down and stress because the operation will cost you a hundred. where I can get such amount. too big plus I wouldn't it will be troubling to ayah and umi, they've many commitment which I think this matter could be difficulties to be solve otherwise umi suggest me to get traditional treatment from wak saring (tukang urut) first. hmm, tak kisah pun mana2, the thing is, if wak saaring treatment doesn't not effective, still have to refer to hospital am I? tuhan je tahu perasaan ni which I think if I've to get operation, it effect my study because definitely should have enough rest and holiday in a month and the study will be left out mcm tu je. the procedure is like this, I've to do MRI (i don't know what the meaning, but it was some medication, that could scan human body and determine which part get problem related to tissue or ligament and so on) after that I can proceed.
that's one thing. another thing is, sometimes home is the best place which I could spend the sweet moment in front of tv and sleep on my own bed and my room also I think, but.. hmm I just mess up with that. it make me feel like want to going back to kedah. seriously, sekarang baru pukul 10 pagi. and aku rasa aku ni kategori yang tak reti bgn lambat sangat cuma sebab baru sampai pukul12 mlm tadi and restless because of the knee pain. I tak boleh tidur lena mlm tadi. sakit. lepas tu. hmm please la ibunda, put some understanding. tak minta byk, please la, kalau boleh tak nak la bertekak dengan benda yang sama je, almost my friend tau dah kalau masalah aku dengan umi tu masalah apa. tapi benda ni takkan settle kalau kita bercakap sedap mulut dan nak ikut hati masing2. ntahlah, sedih pun ada, stress pun ada. tak tahu nak describe. macam nak tarik balik applying to transfer to Uitm shah alam pun ada in order to maintain our relationship being good all the time, not like when Im home. like today, and the few weeks later, trust me, Im sure its gonna have conflict within day by day because of the same reason, dari dulu until now.
Aku bukan pemalas. plus, I can handle and do it by myself without anyone to ask me(suruh dengan cara mrh2) to do so. aku dah 22 years old. not to say Im big enough, but don't treat me like Im 10 years old could you?. sakit lutut plus tersentuh hati ni, sendiri rasa jugak. btw, its gonna be fine, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND THANKS FOR BEING A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND MINIRADIO TO US. (miniradio is ayah yang start dulu, so do blame ayah). hehe
terfikir kalau lah cacat. fuh. ;(
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
last paper
For the busy week, books accompany me wherever I go(ceh ayat nak hover) today gonna be the last day paper and exam for this semester which we can see how fast time goes and I still can remember when the first time I came to the first class for degree without my friends. meaning, I make new friends and surely not easy to know and understand new people with the old environment.
no more to say and share, the feeling turning to be good since today is LAST PAPER. the day I've waiting to eliminate the stress and uncomfortable standing. whatever I do, wherever I go, thought of final exam.
by now, strike up plan for the short holiday. it might be interesting if I could bake cake and cookies for my adik2. or watching movie at nearest mall, jaya jusco or else just staying at home waiting the younger back from their school.
friends, what are you waiting for, just ringgggg me and say "pika,jom kuar, aku belanja" awesome :))
no words can describe how much I miss you guys. yes both of U.
no more to say and share, the feeling turning to be good since today is LAST PAPER. the day I've waiting to eliminate the stress and uncomfortable standing. whatever I do, wherever I go, thought of final exam.
by now, strike up plan for the short holiday. it might be interesting if I could bake cake and cookies for my adik2. or watching movie at nearest mall, jaya jusco or else just staying at home waiting the younger back from their school.
friends, what are you waiting for, just ringgggg me and say "pika,jom kuar, aku belanja" awesome :))
no words can describe how much I miss you guys. yes both of U.Saturday, May 1, 2010
my Zt
hye friends, Im happy, heard you're not unhappy anymore. you're change and surprise me when you show nothing just like happen and could manage your emotion well. remember this, appreciate who appreciate us and let it be. its not long, just awhile and one day the times will turn around others. Life is better with someone appreciate us just like who we are. but don't regret about what had been past. the value is experiences. Experience comes once we experiment into. Do regret if we couldn't feel it. something sweet and hurt. it loves.
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