new year.

lunch time at Plaza Damas :)

time ni macam pencarian gadis melayu lah konon.

athirah and pika

pika pika pikun

faezah, future director of Europe section

Salam and hello people,

It's been a month i'm working at Matrade and have less than 3 day before I'm leaving. tell you the truth, macam tak sangka dah sebulan kat sini. dulu masa mula2 masuk, semua tak bertegur, semua macam ishh sape ni, alah.. kena tegur dulu ke apa. hehe then when it come to stage yang mana kau pandang aku, aku pandang kau. balas-balas senyum, then start lah conversation.

"eh you dari mana, kampung kat mana, adik-beradik berapa, boyfriend berapa and etc kan"

lepas tu boleh ngam sebab athirah will going to London sama macam eja, so since kitaorang sama department, makan sama-sama, kutuk sama2 semua pun sama lah time kat matrade sebab yang ada kita bertiga before student from mascom masuk.

tu jelah cerita mula-mula start kenal. sebulan mmg sekejap. lusa dia dah nak pergi london. eja pergi on 7th, me on 5th,

unfortunately I've been told that my flight would be one day apart each other.. sebab aku punya dah di book awal. so tak boleh tukar.yes, really challenging for first timer and tak biasa naik flight ni.

macam-macam hal dan masalah yang kena fikir sebelum pergi sana. tempat tinggal, siapa nak pickup once we arrived, duit allowance tak masuk-masuk, which benda tu semua kena fikir hari-hari. masuk je office, jumpa Ilya (kawan aku yang ke paris jgk), mesti cakap pasal benda sama. and lucky lah Ilya ni nampaknya seorang yang strong and independent. because what, she going one day early than me, so she's gonna be there and stay at my boss's friend's house while waiting me. my flight would be arrived at 6a.m on the 6th january tu.

my preparation so far almost complete. semua macam dah ada. tak banyak sgt aku beli. semua kena cut. beli barang semua kena cari yang paling murah.

semalam shopping kat jusco sunway pyramid. Masyaallah ramai nya umat, mmg sale and dapat lah barang yang aku nak. and I think I over spending. haha.

hari ni dah masuk tahun baru. HAPPY NEW YEAR korang! what is your new resolution for new year? aku? hmm maybe lah. ini maybe je tau. nak kerja betul-betul and habis practical nak kerja betul-betul (bekerja keras) and balas jasa mak ayah, itu jelah setakat ni.


okay. sila benarkan aku nak membebel panjang.

apa yang jadi sepanjang 2010 ni?

aku awal tahun masih di uitm kedah. okay semua, belajar okay. perangai okay. hehe

bulan 6 aku transfer ke Uitm shah alam sebab ayah tak sihat, so senang lah nak melawat or apa2 kalau duduk dekat. (sebenarnya aku dah rasa lama sgt kat kedah. so nak try tempat belajar baru) hehe. mula2 masuk uitm shah alam, sesat! lepas tu macam nak mengamuk sebab banyak sgt kereta parking tepi-tepi jalan. kenapa aku tak dpat2 parking?? okay takpe, lama2 dah boleh adapt lah benda2 tu semua. aku dah boleh terima hakikat yang aku kena jalan kaki dari kolej ke padang kawad, lepas tu naik bus pergi fac. okay takpe, dah boleh terima lecturer tak sama mcm kedah.okay i'm not intend to compared them. tapi masa first masuk class aku tanya lecturer "would you give share your slide?" and jawapannya "no! my slide is mine"

haha gila sentap dah la budak baru dalam class tu, lepas tu kena sound bertepek. yelah dulu time kat kedah boleh je macam tu. mana nak tahu kat shah alam mcm ni. its like a huge
boundaries between student and lecturer over here. okay terima jelah, uitm shah alam besar, student ramai. mana larat lecturer nak layan semua.

takpe2 last2 aku faham, lecturer tu nak aku berdikari buat note sendiri. and lecturer tu sekarang is my advisor. so aku dah jumpa dia personally and aku rasa dia SANGAT okay. tak mcm yang orang cakap. cuma dia tegas. itu je. memang patutlah kena tegas, student tak makan saman, dia yang tegas pun student tak respect, hantar assigment lambat semua, lagi lah kalau lecturer yang lemah gemalai memang hancus class. satu class ada dalam 40 orang. mcm gila tak. memang pack. so susah nak dapatkan perhatian lecturer. kalau kat branch, lecturer siap boleh kenal sgt nama student, pergi lunch and karaoke lagi. haha

aku dapat ramai kawan baru, classmate aku. tapi the yang paling close is aliaa lah. lepas tu bertambah rapat la dengan mira sebab dah dekat. sebelum ni I kat kedah, dia kat shah alam. so bila dah ada kat sini, bertambah2 lah tanduk atas kepala. hehe

open bazaar. business goes well with the good management of Aliaa and all supporters thanks alot!

okay. lagi apa issue hangat 2010.

haha. pasal hati dan perasaan lah. suddenly it split into two. okay seriously I don't know why it can be happen and how get stated either?

yelah, sebab tu jangan main2 dengan hati. but tell you the truth, this is the best lesson for every single thing happen. lepas ni tau lah mcm mana nak handle this kind of situation. tapi sumpah it's not easy as you can easily said "forget about it forget forget"

tapi takpe, aku ada target sendiri. kalau nak cakap regret tu, memanglah sangat2. what past is past la. why you still wanna think about stupid thing was happened in the past. betul? tapi cuma regret sgt sebab kan benda-benda ni, result aku sem ni drop teruk. bila dapat tahu tu macam oh menyesal tak study. and takut uitm tarik duit aku ke paris. mmg mati lah.

itu je kot. ada masa 3 hari lagi. 3 hari lagi sebelum pergi. rasa macam tak cukup besar nak pergi sana sorang-sorang. okay. till the next post okay. love you!

bounjourrr ;

NICE BUILDING STRUCTURE OF MUSEUM

PARIS TOWN

PARIS AT NIGHT

finally I decided not to apply VISA. for the sake of not being rejected again. and it take time basically 4 weeks to complete the VISA application, and me have like 1 week before I leave.haha

semakin hari semakin berdebar. aku menghitung hari sekarang. tuhan je tahu perasaan ni. kena tinggalkan ayah aku yang sekarang masih di hospital. faham tak perasaan tu?

and you. thanks for the space given. I'm gonna miss you cause you're the one I'm looking for when I'm in trouble. and now I'm trouble for you. sorry you. ;

but in the other way. alots of exciting inside. like want to screaming and say PARIS!HERE I COME:)

*Lepas tu kena sepak dengan orang paris.;

S Club 7- Never had a dream come true (with lyrics)

mana allowance? he he he

hello, what's happening today and yesterday? at office? I haven't not much work to do since all the trade activities done because it end of year already, everything or this department(Europe site) only would be busy with promotion on the next year.

the confirmation of my flight ticket is on 5th at 3.00 a.m, haha.

and actually I am just done nothing due to preparation to go there. I've no money to be spending on the clothes, shoes and other thing that necessary to bring along within the winter season.

by the time , I still waiting allowance from university and PTPTN, therefore I can buy at least some suitable clothes according to weather at Paris now. I've to survive a lot at paris, especially on adaptive the weather, France's people, language barrier and also the food. oh, it's gonna kill me if there's no TOMYAM and BAKSO over there? I wish I could eat those food as much as I can before I'm leaving.

not only food, my family is the exact I'm gonna missing much!

I praise to Allah, to take care everyone that I love and me myself too.

seriously, time is just around the corner and just can't believe I'm gonna leaving Malaysia for about 4 month.


doakan saya selamat pergi dan balik ;

wheel chair?

I don't know whether is good or not to express my feeling this morning here.

sebenarnya aku sangat sedih. aku kerja seminggu, so aku tak tahu apa yang berlaku kat rumah, bila weekend aku balik, tgk ayah dah susah nak berjalan.

aku bawak ayah pergi hospital hari ni, dialysis treatment as usual, the saddest part is when he asked me for wheel chair, okay takpe, first time aku tolak wheel chair, rasa mcm awkward, so asyik nak terlanggar semua benda. aku tak tahu bila nak break, aku tak tahu nak kawal kelajuan, sebab sebelum ni aku bawak kereta roda 4, pagi ni aku bawak roda 2. so take time.

masuk dalam lift, aku pun kelam-kabut.aku tolak ayah aku laju2 sampai terlanggar dinding lift.

"adoiii" ayah aku mengerang,

time tu tuhan je tahu macam mana air mata aku nak mengalir sebab dah buat ayah aku sakit.

kaki ayah luka, and aku tak tahu sebab apa. and sakit tu rasa sampai ke pinggang, ayah kata dia tarik urat.

tapi ayah tak bagitahu doctor pun. I know he don't want to burden anybody around for the simple matter as what he perceive of. but aku rasa macam dah melarat since aku nampak ada luka pada tapak kaki ayah. tapi ayah tetap degil. so at last aku kena marah dengan sister, dia kata "you as a daughter should tell us what's going on with your father, don't try to hide anything from us cause it would make your father suffer in the end"

no I don't. the thing is now is my ayah. dia yang nak rahsiakan semua benda. aku tak nak dia marah aku sebab aku bocorkan rahsia dia pasal kaki dia luka tu.

and sister tu cakap lagi, sebab luka kecil, boleh sampai potong kaki.

aku tahan je air mata ni. ayah kat dalam, aku and sister kat luar. aku rasa macam ada satu beban yang berat pada bahu aku.

aku rasa semakin hari kesihatan ayah semakin teruk. I can't see any improvement. aku rasa nak menjerit kuat-kuat sekarang.

aku rasa nak pergi jauh-jauh sekarang

sebab aku tak tahan lagi nak tengok ayah sakit.

orang yang selama ni menanggung kau, sihat, boleh berjalan, berlari, hantar kau pergi sekolah, hantar pergi tuition, pakai kan kau stoking time darjah 1-4, bangun tengah-tengah malam buatkan air milo untuk kau, dukung kau bila kau tertidur dalam kereta nak bawak masuk dalam rumah, orang yang pernah suapkan kau nasi, orang yang pernah tepuk-tepuk kau bagi kau tidur, orang yang banyak berkorban untuk kau..

tapi hari ni, aku nampak dia hanya boleh duduk atas wheel chair, dengan muka yang tak bermaya, tak ada suara..

aku sedih, susah hati dan tak ada mood.

all I want now is, berilah kesihatannya pulih semula.

itu je.

and one more thing I want to state here.

I hate those who always think about my pocket. u see I can buy this and that doesn't mean my pocket always full of money. tell you the truth, sometimes I keep my five finger before I can really deliver it to YOU. and jangan jadi macam budak kecik la nak post kat fb yang bukan2. tengok diri sendiri. I'm sure she won't read this because she's too busy with stalking and talking about everybody and her surrounding without notice herself just being fool for what she did.

sorry friends, I'm glad that I'm no longer so called your friend anymore. and never be regret what I said to you last time cause you deserve for all those word. aku sekolah rendah? pemikiran sempit. yes aku admit.

so kau paling tinggi? blah buntal.

first time aku gaduh dengan orang DALAM HIDUP aku. I never speak loud to my friends. seriously this is my first time. I warn u, jangan ganggu hidup aku, sebab aku tak pernah ganggu hidup korang. you guys are nothing and not important for me at all. cuma rasa bengang sebab terpaksa pretending untuk masa yang agak lama sebelum meletup.

that's all. I gotta go, banyak benda nak fikir. aku harap aku mampu lalui semua benda ni sebab my life getting tough day by day, not like you. tahu bercakap, menjaja cerita orang. what kind of mouth of yours lah!

till the next post. aku doakan semua okay2 je, sebab aku rasa next post aku mungkin lambat lagi sebab aku tak tahu nak cerita apa pun . semua benda okay je. semua benda masih terkawal.

kawan-kawan kat Sarajevo, wish you guys enjoy life there. and for the rest.. appreciated something that still in front of you don't wait till it disappear cause you don't know how painful the feeling of losing.

daaa ;