atuk

Assalamualaikum and good evening to everyone. it quite a long time I haven't visit my late grandpa's grave. It was the 2 years ago, the last time if I not mistaken and pulah accompanied me went there. And just would to share, I haven't dream him since he go untill yesterday. how to describe the thought when he appear in my dream but unfortunately I can understand what he trying to say and am a bit unclear why it being such.

Actually the story began when I get my sleep back after solat subuh. it was wakeful because got many things play around in my head. nothing important for now its just a silly things that almost teenager often to thinking it of. it might be since someone realize me about something. I was so blissful could understand this earlier am I.

The issue now is what is my atuk try to explain me. I frankly can't understand. the only I remember is, everyone is try to speak with me that moment (in my dream) but I just heard the song by justinBieber "baby by". why? , I just waken and see there's a earphone and the song was played by Hit. fm. yes, aku tak dapat dengar apa atuk aku cakap sebab aku tgh dengar lagu tu.
kindda weird and unlogicable to believe but it was so.

first because, he never appear in my dream. second is suddenly he appeared and say something to me. I remembered how hard he try to speak but I didn't hear it. :(

atuk, is someone who understand me well. He treat me well, he's the one who I can say, I love him more than anyone. people don't understand. but he.. different. he know when am trouble, he pick me up when am hurting. not saying people around me bad. but my childhood different. only certain knew.

Atuk, am sorry.. I miss you terribly, if I can hear what you say, it must be something useful for me atuk. lama dah tak panngil atuk. thanks sudi jaga nur masa kecik2 and selalu be a big backup bila nur kena marah. I have no ones to really understand me since you go atuk.

atuk ingat tak dulu, time tu nur umur 6 tahun, budak-budak kan mulut tak ada insurance, atuk pernah tanya.

atuk: nanti kalau dah kaya nak bawak siapa naik kapal terbang?
aku: bawak umi dengan ayah
atuk: tak nak bawak atuk ke?
aku: emmmm time tu atuk mesti dah tak ada-

sumpah I'll remember this the end because atuk suka perli2 aku pasal ni. and betul la, tak sempat pun atuk nak tengok nur besar. time lepas SPM atuk dah pergi.

Atuk, if it is important, am appreciate if you can comes again. I do miss you. saat-saat yang I need someone to talk and to share. mereka tak faham atuk, mereka fikir lain, tak sama macam mana nur fikir. if I ask for something, doesn't mean I want it now or u have to ready me quickly. I am not that type. people different atuk-